ArmyBoy: Look at that big spider?
Me: oooh!
ArmyBoy: Oh, wait, maybe that’s not a spider. I think it’s at tit.
Me: . . .
ArmyBoy: There are lots of tits in Calgary you know!
Me: . . .
ArmyBoy: They bite.
Me: Do you mean ticks?
ArmyBoy: Yeah, that’s what I said!
He always has been a boob man. Must have been that extended breastfeeding.

