We live in a townhouse complex that nestled in a quiet community. (See, nestled, that’s a nice word, it means we’re safe, right?) My son, who is almost seven, has many friends. We pay more rent than I think we should simply because I like the area, friends are always around and I feel safe here.
A few weeks ago Army Boy (my son) asked to walk to the store with friends. It’s about two blocks away, but they have to cross a fairly busy street (with lights and a crosswalk). He was going with another boy about his age and two older kids. I knew the younger and older boy, but was unfamiliar with the older girl’s name he mentioned. Still, I said ok. I waver between encouraging these independent moments (because he’s not a risk taker) and being thankful that he never wants to wander too far from home. He’d never asked to go this far before. Do I tell him he’s too young? Do I praise him for asking and show him a little bit of trust? I went with the latter.
But the moment he walked out the door I looked at Major Man (my husband) and said “should I have done that?” Major Man shrugged but then mentioned that he DID have his Nintendo DS strapped over his shoulder and there COULD be teenagers around there and just because I was a saint of a teen doesn’t mean that every teenager is. One could easily thump him on the head and take that DS. What would stop them?
OK fine then. So I followed a ways behind them, so Army Boy couldn’t see me. I managed to get into the store without them spotting me spying, though I did have to explain myself to a few customers who observed me stalking four kids.
Army Boy had taken his wallet, brimming with quarters and one five dollar bill. He’d chosen some M&Ms and the cashier asked for $1.37. He looked in his wallet and then handed it over to the older girl he was with. “Do I have enough?” he asked. She pulled out two dollars and handed it over. When the change was handed back she made motions to put it back and then pulled a few coins out for herself.
She put them in her pocket and handed the wallet back to Army Boy, who hadn’t been looking at all, so enamoured was he of the M&Ms.
Well my cover was blown. I walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. “Did you just take money out of his wallet?” She denied it, not knowing who I was. I told her’d what I had witnessed and she just said “I’ll give it back to him.”
“No, I said, you’ll give it back to me, I’m his mother.” She blanched a little but handed the money over. I had no idea how much she’d taken but she said that was all. Then she apologized. I made some comment about how little kids trust bigger kids and maybe she should think about that and choose better next time.
Army Boy saw me and I made some story up about needing some iced tea.
I hung around and quietly followed them back. The girl disappeared very quickly and I haven’t seen her since. The boys couldn’t even tell me which townhouse she lives in, but I could find it.
I didn’t go and tell her parents - would you? I mentioned it to another mom and she said I should. It’s a little late now, but I did have a talk with Army Boy. I told him exactly what had happened. What I’d seen… how if he’s going to hand his wallet over, it should be to the person behind the counter. And next time he’s not taking his wallet, he’s going to take $2 and budget accordingly.
