The Cat Made Me Do It

Why is it that on school days my kids want to sleep until 10 minutes before the bus comes, but on weekends they are up at 5am watching cartoons???

I used to be an early riser. I could go to bed at 6pm or 11pm and I’d still be up at 5am. I liked the peace and quiet of the morning. Everything was fresh and untouched. That all changed when I had kids…

My 5 year old is a lot like I once was. She goes to bed when ever and is up VERY early. The other kids are a bit better at sleeping in. I laughed last week when I was having to wake my youngest up at 10am so that I could go to the mall…lol I think my oldest is getting me prepared for the teen years already. She hates going to bed and will sleep until noon if i let her.

Having babies in the house I quickly learned to go on very little sleep. My babies always slept 6 straight hours from the day they were born but even if I fed at 10, they were ready for another feeding by 4am. My youngest had a lot of ear infections and is now having issues with allergies and asthma so is NOT a good sleeper. She sleeps in 4 hour segments I find and then is up for 2 or 3 hours. I’ve learned to live on very little sleep. On the rare occasion she does sleep all night I’m still up until 2 or 3 because ‘I’ just can’t sleep!

This morning like most every weekend morning, the kids were up early. I heard the tv turn on around 5:30am. I’m loving my new satellite receiver that has the antenna on the back so I can use the remote in my bedroom to turn the channel in the living room. I turned on their favorite channel and rolled over and went back to sleep for a while. Tomorrow is a day off from school and I am really hoping their little bodies will be tricked and they’ll sleep in like it was a school day.

I’m sure I’ll get to enjoy sleep once the kids are older. For now I’ll enjoy my 3am snuggles, the shuffling of little feet coming into my room asking for the cartoons on pleeease. I’d miss so much if I actually slept through the night!

I think like most people, every so often I get these great ideas. They might seem strange to some people or just plain nutty. There was the time I was sure filling the pond with cornstarch and water would be a great ‘learning’ tool for the kids. Or how could taking 5 kids school supply shopping not be fun (OK it led to me breaking down and crying in the middle of aisle 4…). But my ideas always sound like a good idea at the time.

Last fall I decided it was time to paint the house. I wanted to liven in it up. I went to the paint store with ideas in mind, came out with a peachy orange and a purply gray for the living room, my interpretation of olive green for the dining room, and a plum color for the downstairs rec room. After everything was painted, I was happy with it. It took a few days to REALLY like the peachy orange, but it’s really grown on me now and I LOVE it.

Something has really been bugging me all winter though. My fireplace in the middle of my living room was painted a TAN color and could just never decide what to do with it. Deep down I would love to put some stone or brick around it, but my budget doesn’t allow for that. What to do, what to do???

This morning I got up and decided I’d had enough! That fireplace had to be changed. I gathered all my paint that was leftover from other projects, grabbed some sponges and let my hands go to work. The first few colors I was nervous. It wasn’t looking anything like I had imagined it would. Had I made a HUGE mistake and why hadn’t anyone stopped me from doing this…. 11 colors later, a break here and there to step back and ponder, I really like the end result. The fireplace definitely fits in with the rest of the room, it’s gone from blah to POP.

OK, so some people on entering my house might wonder what was I thinking with the paint colors I have chosen. They are definitely a bit unique, but I like them. My house is so much brighter and alive, especially on those LONG winter days. I’m glad I have the freedom to do what ever I want. The look and feel of my house is total reflection of me and everyone agrees it has my name written ALL over it!!!

This morning I woke up to gray skies. Mother Nature was playing her tricks again. It’s Spring for crying out loud, but the snow was falling.

I grew up in the north. Snow has always been a part of life. I have memories of making snow angels, skiing, building snow men, and catching flakes on my tongue. Christmas without snow? I can’t imagine!!

My kids have grown to love the same things. We make plenty of angels. Try to make our snowmen more interesting each time. They’ve learned that mommy is really good at snowball fights and 5 against one doesn’t scare me!!! At an early age they were out sledding. We’re northern bodies. Snow doesn’t scare us!!!

Now I’ll admit snow isn’t always good. I get tired of shoveling. When it melts it makes a horrible mess! The 4 ft snow drifts in my driveway were not enjoyable (neither was the $85 tow bill!). I don’t like when it snows so much that it becomes hard to drive and intersections become so piled with snow it’s hard to see. Yeah, there are definitely some down sides.

The sun has come out now. The snow has stopped. My pretty white wonderland is melting. Everything looked so clean and fresh this morning. The ground sparkled in the moon light. My yard has turned back into the muddy, brown patch. I know it’ll turn into a nice green paradise for the summer. And don’t get me wrong I LOVE summer, bikini season!!!

It’s only April and I’m sure I haven’t seen the last of the white stuff for this season. There will be a few more mornings of me waking up to my clean white yard. Secretly, I can’t wait.

I guess it’s really important that I look at how the kids are being affected by the way life has become. It’s been a huge change for them as well.

My ex was never around a lot. He worked 12 hour shifts so we never saw him on his days on. His days off he always managed to find a neighbor to help., or somewhere to go. The kids and I had become accustomed to doing things alone and having our own routine that didn’t include him. On occasion we did do things as a family, but it was very rare.

Initially, when things were torn apart, my ex would still come by to see the kids. He always said, I’ll be there next Thursday when he was saying his good-byes. These next Thursdays became fewer and fewer. Finally in January he moved away from here. He now lives 9 hours away and hasn’t spoken to the kids since.

I think my son has taken it the hardest. He always looked up to his dad. The two of them probably spent the most time together. They would do building projects, take off on a hunting trip, or just wander around the yard. My son misses that. He’s taken on his own building projects much to my dismay. Every Thursday he looks out the window. I think he has realized now that daddy isn’t coming, but he still hopes.

My oldest is the quiet one. I know this is all bothering her but she won’t admit it. She’s become distant. She spends a lot of time in her room alone. I try to do special things for her, but to no avail. I wish I could find the right key to unlock her feelings so that I could help her get through it.

My middle two girls are grasping for attention anyway they can. They both will do just about anything to get one on one attention from whom ever will listen. Smetimes they use means that aren’t appropriate, fighting, swearing, and stealing. We’ve been talking lots and they’re learning there are better ways to get the attention that they need.

My baby has never really spent much time with her father. When she was 6 months old he went away for 9 months. He had missed so many firsts in her life and there was no way to make up for it. I think I feel most sorry for her. Despite my feelings, he’s still her father.

The first few months were really hard. It was difficult to explain why daddy was no longer coming by. Even worse why he was now living with a ‘new’ family. I really wish HE hadn’t shared that information with them. It was too soon.

So it’s another Thursday. I’ll watch as my son stares out the window hoping. We all know he’s not coming. I hope some day it will be different, but for now that’s our reality.

One of the things I have noticed the biggest change in this last year is meal times. Now that it is just the kids and I, our food habits have changed greatly (and the grocery bill has been cut in half!!!). It was quite funny when we went to a Sunday smorg and my favorite part was the mashed potatoes and gravy. I couldn’t remember the last time ‘I’ had made mashed potatoes!!!

It used to be that I made a big meal every night. Sometimes a roast, maybe a lasagna, meat, potatoes and a veggie. Now I am finding the meals have become a lot simpler. We eat a lot of pasta (spaghetti, Mac and Cheese,…), grilled cheese and soup, pancakes for supper. I don’t know the last time I cooked a big meal at my house.

My pantry used to be stocked with a bit of everything. As I look in there now it’s only got the basics. Some flour, sugar, soup, and pasta. The junkie foods are gone. We only eat chips and candy as a treat maybe once a month. I think I may try to stock it with more healthy foods and snacks that are quick and easy to prepare.

Eating out was a luxury. It wasn’t easy getting a table for 7. I’m finding now that, the kids and I, are more daring where we will go and what we will order. Last week my youngest and I went a way for a few days. We discovered different dips. Who knew that a 3 year old would eat Spinach and Artichoke dip or Lobster, Crab, and Shrimp dip. She LOVED them!!! It’s been nice taking a break from McDonald’s. I can’t wait for our next restaurant adventure

So, today I’ve decided, it’s time to dust off the stove. Just because it is only the kids and I doesn’t mean we can’t have those big meals still. I put on my apron and have made some chili. There is bread rising and a salad staying crisp in the fridge. I’ve got over 100 cookbooks that have been sitting collecting dust. I’m ready to open them and see what new creations I can find.

I think I’m going to have cookoff Sunday’s again. Make my weeks worth of lunches and desserts. I’m sure the kids will really enjoy helping as well. A nice meal to end the weekend and start the coming week sounds like a great idea to me

It has occurred to me that I am holding on to WAY too many memories. I have tried to make my new house MY home. It displays the things I love and cherish. In the back of it all there are still a few reminders of the ex.

One of the rooms I have been dying to change for a while now is my bedroom. I wanted my bedroom to have a more romantic feel. Instead, I had been content to sleep under the same old cotton I had been for years. NOT anymore! As part of the new me, last week I went out and bought a lavender colored, satiny comforter, silk sheets, and some new pillows. I swear I had the best sleep ever!!! I arranged candles here and there and made the tv less of the focal point. My new room is a complete expression of me. It has the girlie charm, yet it’s not too over powering.

Looking around my house there are a lot of little things that were apart of my old life. A picture here, a glass there. It’s time to put the past to rest. Clear out the things that were just a tie to the past. I’ve boxed up the pictures, given the kids the collectibles they wanted. I’ve painted the walls in colors that describe who I am. Vibrant oranges and greens. Good bye to the country charm, hello to the Tuscany.

My closet had become a ‘mommy’ room. I traded in all my ‘dressy’ clothes for sweats and t-shirts. The majority of my clothes were ill fitted and hiding the figure that running after 5 kids had given me. A trip to the mall and some wonderful sales people I have a new wardrobe that compliments me. I’ve discovered new fabrics and styles I never would have thought to even try on. I can’t wait to go out now

I think the most important part of my cleaning was redefining what was important to my definition of ‘family’. For WAY too long the TV was the place we all gathered. The writer’s strike was a great motivation to find new things to do. Now we have family game night, go out swimming almost weekly, have Friday night dance parties, and just enjoy each others company. I’ve had comments from people how much different the kids and I have become. We are much more of a unit now. The TV was a huge piece of clutter that needed to go. We still watch some show but it’s not our source of entertainment anymore. We’ve discovered that spending time together working on a project is a way better use of our time!

Becoming single after so many years was a bit terrifying. How was I gonna start over? There was a lot I needed to declutter, remove from my home so that I could finally move on. I still haven’t decided what I am going to do with some of the things. For now my past sits in my storage room in a tote marked, Old Me.

For as long as I can remember I have always had a cat as a best friend. They’ve always been there for me. Always made me feel better when I was down, and helped me get through anything. My 10 year old, peachy colored cat has no idea how much he has helped me through.

When I was 21 I married the man I thought was going to be the one I was going to be with forever. I was wrong. 7 years later, a move, and a lot of tears shed, I am now officially a single mom to 5.

It was very scary at first. I had been a stay at home mom since my oldest was born 9 years ago. Money was always there when I needed it. Now all of a sudden I was the sole decision maker. How was I going to have the strength to raise 5 kids? Where was I going to find the support I needed? And who was going to be there to tell me that things are going to be OK?

Who knew that a marriage was so easy to get into yet so difficult to get OUT of! My ex walked away from everything. He managed to sign all bills over to me without my knowledge. He quit supporting the kids. Faded into the night, leaving all ties to me in my hands, for me to clean up. The lawyers will have fun with that.

It took me some time to get over the pain. I knew it was over many years ago, but I never could have imagined that it would turn out like this. It’s been months now and we still can’t get past the hate for each other. He has no respect for me and I have yet to accept that he so easily left without putting up a fight. Despite the fact that we didn’t get along how could he just walk away from the kids?

Sadly the kids were stuck in the middle. They knew there was problems. It wasn’t hard. The fighting and anger was so obvious. It began to reflect in school work, their own personalities, and how they behaved day-to-day. It’s taken months and many hours of counseling but the kids are doing so much better now. The house is a much calmer place.

So, it’s taken me some time, but I am holding my head high. When my ex was running, I stayed behind. I took the steps to get my feet back on the ground. It hasn’t been easy, some days really attacked, but I was determined to make it through. I’ve made some great friends along the way. Lost a few. They say it’s the hard times that really show you what you are made of and I think I have discovered a whole new me.  I’m ready for a new start

My cat never liked my ex. They never got along. I guess I should have listened a little bit harder to him

THE CAT MADE ME DO IT!!!