The Cat Made Me Do It

I guess it’s really important that I look at how the kids are being affected by the way life has become. It’s been a huge change for them as well.

My ex was never around a lot. He worked 12 hour shifts so we never saw him on his days on. His days off he always managed to find a neighbor to help., or somewhere to go. The kids and I had become accustomed to doing things alone and having our own routine that didn’t include him. On occasion we did do things as a family, but it was very rare.

Initially, when things were torn apart, my ex would still come by to see the kids. He always said, I’ll be there next Thursday when he was saying his good-byes. These next Thursdays became fewer and fewer. Finally in January he moved away from here. He now lives 9 hours away and hasn’t spoken to the kids since.

I think my son has taken it the hardest. He always looked up to his dad. The two of them probably spent the most time together. They would do building projects, take off on a hunting trip, or just wander around the yard. My son misses that. He’s taken on his own building projects much to my dismay. Every Thursday he looks out the window. I think he has realized now that daddy isn’t coming, but he still hopes.

My oldest is the quiet one. I know this is all bothering her but she won’t admit it. She’s become distant. She spends a lot of time in her room alone. I try to do special things for her, but to no avail. I wish I could find the right key to unlock her feelings so that I could help her get through it.

My middle two girls are grasping for attention anyway they can. They both will do just about anything to get one on one attention from whom ever will listen. Smetimes they use means that aren’t appropriate, fighting, swearing, and stealing. We’ve been talking lots and they’re learning there are better ways to get the attention that they need.

My baby has never really spent much time with her father. When she was 6 months old he went away for 9 months. He had missed so many firsts in her life and there was no way to make up for it. I think I feel most sorry for her. Despite my feelings, he’s still her father.

The first few months were really hard. It was difficult to explain why daddy was no longer coming by. Even worse why he was now living with a ‘new’ family. I really wish HE hadn’t shared that information with them. It was too soon.

So it’s another Thursday. I’ll watch as my son stares out the window hoping. We all know he’s not coming. I hope some day it will be different, but for now that’s our reality.

One of the things I have noticed the biggest change in this last year is meal times. Now that it is just the kids and I, our food habits have changed greatly (and the grocery bill has been cut in half!!!). It was quite funny when we went to a Sunday smorg and my favorite part was the mashed potatoes and gravy. I couldn’t remember the last time ‘I’ had made mashed potatoes!!!

It used to be that I made a big meal every night. Sometimes a roast, maybe a lasagna, meat, potatoes and a veggie. Now I am finding the meals have become a lot simpler. We eat a lot of pasta (spaghetti, Mac and Cheese,…), grilled cheese and soup, pancakes for supper. I don’t know the last time I cooked a big meal at my house.

My pantry used to be stocked with a bit of everything. As I look in there now it’s only got the basics. Some flour, sugar, soup, and pasta. The junkie foods are gone. We only eat chips and candy as a treat maybe once a month. I think I may try to stock it with more healthy foods and snacks that are quick and easy to prepare.

Eating out was a luxury. It wasn’t easy getting a table for 7. I’m finding now that, the kids and I, are more daring where we will go and what we will order. Last week my youngest and I went a way for a few days. We discovered different dips. Who knew that a 3 year old would eat Spinach and Artichoke dip or Lobster, Crab, and Shrimp dip. She LOVED them!!! It’s been nice taking a break from McDonald’s. I can’t wait for our next restaurant adventure

So, today I’ve decided, it’s time to dust off the stove. Just because it is only the kids and I doesn’t mean we can’t have those big meals still. I put on my apron and have made some chili. There is bread rising and a salad staying crisp in the fridge. I’ve got over 100 cookbooks that have been sitting collecting dust. I’m ready to open them and see what new creations I can find.

I think I’m going to have cookoff Sunday’s again. Make my weeks worth of lunches and desserts. I’m sure the kids will really enjoy helping as well. A nice meal to end the weekend and start the coming week sounds like a great idea to me