The Cat Made Me Do It

I know, I know, I’m not the most constant blogger. I’m not sure if you read my title, but I’m a SINGLE mom to 5!!! …lol

I can’t believe it’s already the middle of November. How am I ever going to get done all of the things that I need to before Christmas is here???

The kids were actually a BIG help with their four day weekend from school. I now have a fairly clean basement, bedrooms that pass the smell and clutter test (they aren’t all ‘clean’ but at least they’re not scary!!!), and my son did most of the laundry. We re-organized the chore chart. I wrote down the chores and let each one pick a job/day until all the chores were gone. I think we’ll try doing that every month so they don’t get bored doing the same things every week.

I’ve had all my Christmas presents bought since August (hey, I live half way to nowhere and with 5 it gets pricey if I don’t shop sales and spread the spending out through the year!). That reminds me that I need to dig out the sewing machine and put some of my gifts together. I still need to buy birthday presents for 4 family members and some stocking stuffers. I think I have everything picked out and added to my list for my trip to the city in a few weeks. Next I’ll have to get around to wrapping everything!!!

I’d love to get a bit of baking done. I may promote my oldest to that. She LOVES to be in the kitchen and does most of the cooking around here anyway. Maybe if I smell it I’ll get more energy to help her….

I’ve been trying for weeks to get a family picture. Hopefully soon. Now that we have a bit of snow I think I can get a few nice shots outside. I’m hoping to get a group shot to stick in stick inside my Christmas cards and call that a gift for all of the ex’s family! No way was I spending any money on gifts for them.

It never ends. Then again if it did, I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with myself!!!

It has occurred to me that I am holding on to WAY too many memories. I have tried to make my new house MY home. It displays the things I love and cherish. In the back of it all there are still a few reminders of the ex.

One of the rooms I have been dying to change for a while now is my bedroom. I wanted my bedroom to have a more romantic feel. Instead, I had been content to sleep under the same old cotton I had been for years. NOT anymore! As part of the new me, last week I went out and bought a lavender colored, satiny comforter, silk sheets, and some new pillows. I swear I had the best sleep ever!!! I arranged candles here and there and made the tv less of the focal point. My new room is a complete expression of me. It has the girlie charm, yet it’s not too over powering.

Looking around my house there are a lot of little things that were apart of my old life. A picture here, a glass there. It’s time to put the past to rest. Clear out the things that were just a tie to the past. I’ve boxed up the pictures, given the kids the collectibles they wanted. I’ve painted the walls in colors that describe who I am. Vibrant oranges and greens. Good bye to the country charm, hello to the Tuscany.

My closet had become a ‘mommy’ room. I traded in all my ‘dressy’ clothes for sweats and t-shirts. The majority of my clothes were ill fitted and hiding the figure that running after 5 kids had given me. A trip to the mall and some wonderful sales people I have a new wardrobe that compliments me. I’ve discovered new fabrics and styles I never would have thought to even try on. I can’t wait to go out now

I think the most important part of my cleaning was redefining what was important to my definition of ‘family’. For WAY too long the TV was the place we all gathered. The writer’s strike was a great motivation to find new things to do. Now we have family game night, go out swimming almost weekly, have Friday night dance parties, and just enjoy each others company. I’ve had comments from people how much different the kids and I have become. We are much more of a unit now. The TV was a huge piece of clutter that needed to go. We still watch some show but it’s not our source of entertainment anymore. We’ve discovered that spending time together working on a project is a way better use of our time!

Becoming single after so many years was a bit terrifying. How was I gonna start over? There was a lot I needed to declutter, remove from my home so that I could finally move on. I still haven’t decided what I am going to do with some of the things. For now my past sits in my storage room in a tote marked, Old Me.

For as long as I can remember I have always had a cat as a best friend. They’ve always been there for me. Always made me feel better when I was down, and helped me get through anything. My 10 year old, peachy colored cat has no idea how much he has helped me through.

When I was 21 I married the man I thought was going to be the one I was going to be with forever. I was wrong. 7 years later, a move, and a lot of tears shed, I am now officially a single mom to 5.

It was very scary at first. I had been a stay at home mom since my oldest was born 9 years ago. Money was always there when I needed it. Now all of a sudden I was the sole decision maker. How was I going to have the strength to raise 5 kids? Where was I going to find the support I needed? And who was going to be there to tell me that things are going to be OK?

Who knew that a marriage was so easy to get into yet so difficult to get OUT of! My ex walked away from everything. He managed to sign all bills over to me without my knowledge. He quit supporting the kids. Faded into the night, leaving all ties to me in my hands, for me to clean up. The lawyers will have fun with that.

It took me some time to get over the pain. I knew it was over many years ago, but I never could have imagined that it would turn out like this. It’s been months now and we still can’t get past the hate for each other. He has no respect for me and I have yet to accept that he so easily left without putting up a fight. Despite the fact that we didn’t get along how could he just walk away from the kids?

Sadly the kids were stuck in the middle. They knew there was problems. It wasn’t hard. The fighting and anger was so obvious. It began to reflect in school work, their own personalities, and how they behaved day-to-day. It’s taken months and many hours of counseling but the kids are doing so much better now. The house is a much calmer place.

So, it’s taken me some time, but I am holding my head high. When my ex was running, I stayed behind. I took the steps to get my feet back on the ground. It hasn’t been easy, some days really attacked, but I was determined to make it through. I’ve made some great friends along the way. Lost a few. They say it’s the hard times that really show you what you are made of and I think I have discovered a whole new me.  I’m ready for a new start

My cat never liked my ex. They never got along. I guess I should have listened a little bit harder to him

THE CAT MADE ME DO IT!!!