Is it Next Thursday Yet?
I guess it’s really important that I look at how the kids are being affected by the way life has become. It’s been a huge change for them as well.
My ex was never around a lot. He worked 12 hour shifts so we never saw him on his days on. His days off he always managed to find a neighbor to help., or somewhere to go. The kids and I had become accustomed to doing things alone and having our own routine that didn’t include him. On occasion we did do things as a family, but it was very rare.
Initially, when things were torn apart, my ex would still come by to see the kids. He always said, I’ll be there next Thursday when he was saying his good-byes. These next Thursdays became fewer and fewer. Finally in January he moved away from here. He now lives 9 hours away and hasn’t spoken to the kids since.
I think my son has taken it the hardest. He always looked up to his dad. The two of them probably spent the most time together. They would do building projects, take off on a hunting trip, or just wander around the yard. My son misses that. He’s taken on his own building projects much to my dismay. Every Thursday he looks out the window. I think he has realized now that daddy isn’t coming, but he still hopes.
My oldest is the quiet one. I know this is all bothering her but she won’t admit it. She’s become distant. She spends a lot of time in her room alone. I try to do special things for her, but to no avail. I wish I could find the right key to unlock her feelings so that I could help her get through it.
My middle two girls are grasping for attention anyway they can. They both will do just about anything to get one on one attention from whom ever will listen. Smetimes they use means that aren’t appropriate, fighting, swearing, and stealing. We’ve been talking lots and they’re learning there are better ways to get the attention that they need.
My baby has never really spent much time with her father. When she was 6 months old he went away for 9 months. He had missed so many firsts in her life and there was no way to make up for it. I think I feel most sorry for her. Despite my feelings, he’s still her father.
The first few months were really hard. It was difficult to explain why daddy was no longer coming by. Even worse why he was now living with a ‘new’ family. I really wish HE hadn’t shared that information with them. It was too soon.
So it’s another Thursday. I’ll watch as my son stares out the window hoping. We all know he’s not coming. I hope some day it will be different, but for now that’s our reality.
April 5th, 2008 at 6:06 am
it’s sad isn’t it..how a parent can walk away from a child. they don’t seem to understand that just because your relationship is over, doesn’t mean the relationship with the child ends too!