Heading into Dairy Queen the other day Nicholas sees the big plastic ice cream cone that sits at the end of the drive-thru. “What does that say Mommy?” I said, “It says Dairy Queen on it.” He points to the red sign beside it and says, “No, the sign that says No…” I said, “Oh, that says No Entry” Nicholas looks up at me and, fearing we were breaking the rules, says “oh… are we enting?”
We were heading out today for a hike and because 3 year old Nicholas is a wonderer I wanted to dress him in as bright of clothes as possible in case he went off the beaten track. So we were standing at his dresser and I pull out his red shorts and put them at his feet. Then he watches me pull out a red shirt and toss them on top of the shorts. His comment was this, “Oh! A red shirt and red shorts! It’s an outfit!” Then he danced around the house with both of them on singing, “I have an outfit… I got an outfit…” I couldn’t help it… I winced. He was just a little too happy about having “an outfit.” LOL!
I was in the kitchen and the boys were downstairs playing games on their computers. I could hear them decide that they wanted a vitamin. Nick came upstairs and said, “Mommy, did we have our bear vitamin today?” I told him he didn’t and opened the bottle of brightly coloured bear shapes. I shook out a few on my hand and held it open for Nicholas to choose. He took two orange bears and toddled off downstairs with them. What happened next was I heard my own words come out of the mouth of my oldest son.
The conversation:
Nick: Here’s your vitamin.
Bryn: NICK! I said I wanted a PINK one. ARRG! You never listen… you NEVER listen Nick. How many times did I tell you I wanted a pink one? Three times Nick! THREE TIMES! And what happens? You get an orange one. You never listen Nick.
Pause for dramatic effect…….
Nicholas: (who had been on his computer the whole time) Yay! I won! I came in first!!!!
Bryn was right. Obviously, Nick wasn’t even listening to his rant about not listening!
I took Bryn and Nicholas to visit the graveyard today for the first time. I showed them the graves of my brother and my grandmother, both of whom they never met. I explained to them that these were the spots where all the dead people were buried. I could see Bryn’s thought process on the whole idea but he just wasn’t quite getting it. He kept asking how the people got under there and who puts them under there, etc. Once he clued in Bryn kept saying “It’s so sad that all these people are dead.” “Yes, honey, it is sad. We miss people when they die, so we cry because we’ll never see them again.” Nicholas, ever the parrot of his brother, repeats, “It is so sad… these poor people.”
On our way out Bryn surveyed the huge cemetary and said, “There are A LOT of dead people in here!” I had to agree… there were a lot of stones. As we were driving out Nicholas, once again, says how sad it is that all these people are dead. Then he sadly says, “Oh… these people are having a really bad day because they are all dead.” I had to chuckle. It’s gotta be a bad day when you realize you’re dead!
Bryn and Nick got a ring pop for the first time today, after seeing it on TV all the time. Nick says, “Hey, just like Jack! he had a ring pop!” I said, “he did?” (Jack is 2 and I doubt his mom would let him have a ring pop yet) So I said, “Jack who?” Nick says, “Alice’s brother. He had a ring pop in his mouth.” I replied, “Ohhhh, no… that is a soother. It’s not nearly as tasty as a ring pop.”
After sucking on his ring pop for a while Bryn says, “Hmmm, this ring pop is making me have old people’s lips.” I said, “Old people’s lips?” “Yeah” he replies. So, I have to ask, “What are old people’s lips like?” He answers, “All old and crunchy up.” I say,”Wrinkled?” “Oh, yeah… wrinkled.” I’ll have to tell my 80 year old mom that she has crunchy up lips. She’ll get a kick out of that.
It’s funny the difference between garage sailing as a non-parent and as a parent.
Before we had kids Dave and I used to go to garage sales once in a while.
As a non-parent, this was the routine:
Wake up around 10 or eleven on the weekend.
Go to Tim’s and get a coffee.
Peruse the streets, looking for garage sale signs. If we find one, great. If not… hey, we can always go home and have a nap!
Once we saw a garage sale, we’d stop the car, get out and take a leisurely stroll through the junk, looking for anything that might be “fun” to try out, or movies/books we hadn’t seen before, that kind of stuff.
Leave the sale, go home and have a nap.
As a parent, this is the routine:
Keep a running log and write on the calendar when all the good town-wide garage sales are coming up. By good, we mean when the rich people unload their junk.
Actually WANT the kids to get up early so we can get to the sales before all the good stuff is gone.
Jump up out of bed around 6:30-7:00 as soon as we hear the kids stirring.
Collect the following: juice boxes, cereal in baggies, wet wipes, an extra pair of kids’ underwear, tape measure, list of measurements around the house.
Make sure everyone has peed.
Stop at Tim’s and grab coffees plus a plethora of donuts to keep mouths full.
Go to the garage sale town and immediately look for a toy we can buy the boys to keep them quiet while we search.
Drive around quickly and peer out the window to see if it’s good stuff. If everything is pink or there are a lot of baby paraphernelia, keep on going.
Once we see a good one, park and then decide if it’s worth it for the boys to get out of the van and look as well.
If the boys do look, listen to “can we get this pez dispenser?” or “I HAVE to have this remote control car that’s missing the antenna and the remote!”
Do this a few hundred times, while stopping intermittently for pee, juice and snack breaks.
Get back into the van for the final time, exhausted and realizing that all our purchases are either toys or kids’ clothes.
On the drive home realize that all the purhcases we made for the boys are now defunct because they have already lost interest in them.
Go home and wish we could have a nap.
Nicholas can have such a sweet nature sometimes and is genuinely concerned for others’ well being, especially animals.
I learned today that that concern extends to produce as well.
We were at the grocery store today and he always takes the sticker off the apples and puts it on his head, or arm, or whatever. So when we bought apples he did that. Then we get to the potatoes and he starts to help me put them into the mesh bag. He spies the stickers on each potato and says , “Oh, they have stickers on them! can I take one off?” I said, “No, Nick.” he says, “Why? Does it keep them warm?” Yeah, that’s it honey…LOL!
Where did my children get their stubborness? Certainly not from me! Must be from their grandparents, as Dave always says.
Nicholas is at that age where he has to do everything himself. Heaven forbid if I help him or all hell breaks loose and “Nick the Possessed” awakens. I call him this because he jumps around with spastic jerkiness, arms pumping towards the floor, mouth agape and ear peircing screams fill the air. I swear one of these times his head is going to spin.
Case in point… this morning:
Nicholas: Where were you outside?
Mommy: Hanging clothes on the line.
Nicholas: Can I go outside? In my pyjamas?
Mommy: Sure, but go pee first.
Nicholas: But I just went pee this morning!
Mommy: That was a while ago. Go pee before you go outside because you get out there and pee in your pants.
Nicholas: But I won’t! (Nick the possessed is peeking out now)
Mommy: That’s what you said before, and then you did.
Transforming Nicolas: BUT I WON’T! I DON’T WANT TO GO PEE!
Mommy(calmly): Then you’re not going outside
Nick the Possessed: I DON’T HAVE TO GO PEE!! I DON’T!!!…. OKAY!! OKAY, I’LL GO PEE! OKAAAAAY!
Then he stomps upstairs to go pee, but gets distracted in the kitchen where he wants a drink. I hear the juice container being taken out of the fridge. I hear a chair being pushed up to the cupboard, then tinkling of glass as he is carefully taking a glass cup out of the cupboard. I hear a light bang, then feet pounding up to the top floor. Back down to the kitchen now. Now back up to the top floor. He returns to me downstairs as Nicholas again.
Nicholas: I tried to pour the juice and it made a big mess.
Mommy: Greeaaat.
Nicholas: I can’t pour it, can you? Pleeeaaaaase? (hugging my arm and looking sweetly at me while batting eyelashes)
We both go up to the kitchen where I see an empty glass and a half empty juice container.
Mommy: Where’s the mess?
Nicholas: (while pointing to the table top) It was here, but I got a towel from the ba-froom and cleaned it up.
Mommy: Oh. Where’s the towel now?
Nicholas: In the ba-froom.
Mommy: *big sigh*
He never did go outside.
