I should be in bed, but,…………
I am not sleepy just yet,……………..
Today was an OK day. DS woke me up too early at 6:30, as he wanted to PLAY. DH was still sleeping, so I ain’t impressed at all. So DS had a breakfast that consists of banana and multi-grain cheerios with milk. And I had coffee and toast. Yeah, I should be eating a good breakfast but DH wasn’t up until 8:30. So afterwards, it was SPRING cleaning day that I never thought DH was in a cleaning MOOD. Well, I had to put away all the laundry, did up all the dishes, shred up all the documents that we no long need, organize the toys (DS freaked out when I told him that some of the toys may have to go because he is too old for that :S), as well as go through DS’s closet for clutter that we are going to put them in the garage sale. Then I came accross a bag full of receiving blankets. I thought, I cannot see alot of people buying gently used blankets when they always buy freshly brand new blankets, so it gave me an idea: rag quilts and blankies for babies. There are five women I know (BIL’s wife, cousin, a friend and her sister, and long time pal I known her since she was little) are expecting (one with TWINS!) and I am happy for them, but I still feel not complete yet. As I cut out squares from the receiving blankets to prepare them to make quilts and blankets, I feel very queasy and next thing I know is CRAMPING. For the whole afternoon, I was not feeling good, so I cuddled up to DS while DH vacuumed. I figured that after supper, I would feel better with a nice bath, and afterwards, I still have little cramping. At least I don’t want to be crusty when cramping LOL. Tomorrow, while DH is at work and when DS goes for his nap, I will be cutting squares out of old jeans. I will post pictures of the finished products when I finish the projects.
So you probably wonder why I don’t feel complete yet when it comes to other women I know are expecting. For starters, Dh and I just want to have two kids, that’s all. Secondly, DS is getting lonely without a playmate (that is where weekly library storytimes come in, as well as taking him to the playcenter to play), and thirdly, I am READY to handle a second child to complete our family. Last October, I was estatic when I found out I was pregnant for the second time, but the next week after hearing the news, I knew something was wrong when I was spotting for five days, Turned out to be retained miscarriage and to me, it was sad but I have to realize that I got a little boy who made me smile. Even my FIL said that it was just not meant to be, and it was better to end it than to face a sick, dying baby. He made a point, really. Two months after the ordeal, my family doctor gave us the go to try again, and we are still TTC as usual. I try not to think about it, and I still think that having sex is FUN and ADDICTIVE as usual LOL. But all I just want to do is not to try too hard and just enjoy life and watch DS learn new things in a fun way. That is why I have to learn to keep patience on me.
Well, that is all I can think of when I should be in bed, so I can get up early to make breakfast for DH and DS and then drive DH to work.
