A normal, boring woman as usual……

Yesterday was pretty stressful, due to a little boy going through an early case of “Terrible Two’s” even he doesn’t turn 2 until September 9.  And when he refused to nap, I nearly wanted to cry because I was so worn out from all the hearing of screaming and tantrums.  And after I put him to bed, I broke down.  DH suggested we should get my mom to take her grandson for a weekend so we could have a break.  I would love that, but how?  And WHEN, depending on mom’s boss and her “scheduling” at the bar kitchen.

So this morning, I dreaded getting up to face the temper-tantrum day, but to my shock, DS climbed onto our bed with a cute,”HI!”  At breakfast time, he ate his favorite oatmeal without tossing the dish to the floor, in which I have to get the vacuum out.  And he never threw a fit to seeing his daddy go to work.  Later this morning, I took him grocery shopping, and he pointed to bananas, in which I picked it up and he smiled at me.  I know he loves bananas.  Then he pointed to oranges and green grapes.  He loves them, too.  When it comes to going by the snack section, I was surprised that he did not scream for cheese puffs or Twisties.  He was too busy babbling to me as I was going along with picking up what I needed.  At lunch time, instead of dropping the food on the floor for our grouchy ol’ cat to play at it, he ate the whole lunch, which consisted of ravioli.  And he did not spit out the sippy cup of milk like he normally do.  And when it was time for an afternoon nap, he did not cry out at all when he went to lay down in his bed.  He was fast asleep the minute he laid down.  Two hours later, he woke up smiling, all refreshed.  By the time DH came home from work, the boys played peekaboo and hide-n-seek while I grilled up the food on the BBQ.  At suppertime, DS did not throw the food down tot he floor at all, not only surprised DH, but got the cat mad that she could not get pasta and peas at all.  Now, I am thinking,”is this the same kid I gave birth to, or what?”  And tonite, there was no bedtime struggles at all.  He snuggled up in his bed while I sang him a couple of songs.  After the lights were turned out, I felt better, unlike yesterday.  Now I am thinking, I wonder what it will be like as he goes for his storytime at the library tomorrow morning?  We’ll see.

 Stay tuned,…………………………..

I am not sleepy just yet,……………..

Today was an OK day.  DS woke me up too early at 6:30, as he wanted to PLAY.  DH was still sleeping, so I ain’t impressed at all.  So DS had a breakfast that consists of banana and multi-grain cheerios with milk.  And I had coffee and toast.  Yeah, I should be eating a good breakfast but DH wasn’t up until 8:30.  So afterwards, it was SPRING cleaning day that I never thought DH was in a cleaning MOOD. Well, I had to put away all the laundry, did up all the dishes, shred up all the documents that we no long need, organize the toys (DS freaked out when I told him that some of the toys may have to go because he is too old for that :S), as well as go through DS’s closet for clutter that we are going to put them in the garage sale.  Then I came accross a bag full of receiving blankets. I thought, I cannot see alot of people buying gently used blankets when they always buy freshly brand new blankets, so it gave me an idea: rag quilts and blankies for babies. There are five women I know (BIL’s wife, cousin, a friend and her sister, and long time pal I known her since she was little) are expecting (one with TWINS!) and I am happy for them, but I still feel not complete yet.  As I cut out squares from the receiving blankets to prepare them to make quilts and blankets, I feel very queasy and next thing I know is CRAMPING.  For the whole afternoon, I was not feeling good, so I cuddled up to DS while DH vacuumed.  I figured that after supper, I would feel better with a nice bath, and afterwards, I still have little cramping.  At least I don’t want to be crusty when cramping LOL. Tomorrow, while DH is at work and when DS goes for his nap, I will be cutting squares out of old jeans.  I will post pictures of the finished products when I finish the projects.

So you probably wonder why I don’t feel complete yet when it comes to other women I know are expecting. For starters, Dh and I just want to have two kids, that’s all.  Secondly, DS is getting lonely without a playmate (that is where weekly library storytimes come in, as well as taking him to the playcenter to play), and thirdly, I am READY to handle a second child to complete our family.  Last October, I was estatic when I found out I was pregnant for the second time, but the next week after hearing the news, I knew something was wrong when I was spotting for five days,  Turned out to be retained miscarriage and to me, it was sad but I have to realize that I got a little boy who made me smile.  Even my FIL said that it was just not meant to be, and it was better to end it than to face a sick, dying baby.  He made a point, really.  Two months after the ordeal, my family doctor gave us the go to try again, and we are still TTC as usual.  I try not to think about it, and I still think that having sex is FUN and ADDICTIVE as usual LOL.  But all I just want to do is not to try too hard and just enjoy life and watch DS learn new things in a fun way.  That is why I have to learn to keep patience on me.

Well, that is all I can think of when I should be in bed, so I can get up early to make breakfast for DH and DS and then drive DH to work. 

Today, DS and I just took the lunch to DH’s work and as we got there, he was pretty exhausted and confused from all of the morning runaraound in the shop (long story, but he wants to put it behind and move on to the afternoon of new tasks).  Since the radio is on at work, he had just heard that the potash mine, at the hometown we left behind, had changed ownership, in which alot of people call it ,”good news for local applicants to be on the first-choice lists, instead of waiting up to 8 years for their first interview”.  The last ownership was pretty bad, as I heard, that they hire workers from out-of-province, over local applicants who worked hard to develop experience from last jobs to get on board, but were shut out due to “people who have nothing better to do than to make up malicious lies and rumors to hurt them and their reputations”. Sure, DH would love a job at the mine that will pay him $20 dollars/hour, 12-hr shifts, 4 days on, 4 days off.  But the problem is, this mine is already heavily polluted, and people who worked there, or lived too close to the mine, were already dying from types of cancer, beside smoking. And for us, we were not really sure if we really want to move back to the hometown and go back to fighting about EVERYTHING as well as be treated like as if we were nonexistent.  And I can’t bare to watch DS be alienated from kids his age because their parents get the wrong impression about DH and I, comparing to the past.  So DH said,”I like our lives here in this city, because no one judges us for WHO we are, and we have met people that never judged us at all.”  It is true.

Well, when we lived in the hometown where my parents are as well as his FIL and family, it was a town of “competition and boredom with life”.  In high school, I am not even sure if the students and teachers were complying with anti-bullying policies, but it seems like they already BROKE it and don’t even care at all.  Pretty sad, and no wonder students hurried out of town the day after graduation each year.  Businesses come and go, except 2 grocery stores and 2 pharmacy stores, as well as three industries and one HOME Hardware.  Partly because, people don’t have a long-term goal to stick to it.  They just jump into a business that will get them MONEY without thinking about how long the business will be around as well as understanding what customers expect from them.  And for the coffee shops, gah, I could not step in there without getting all the glares from obsessive “socialites” and it is hard to shake off the fact they made up lies about people like DH and I, that were not true and never will be true at all.  My parents grew up in the area for so long, they rather be comfortable there than to move on to something new.  I son’t know how they can put up with alot of people, but they have their ways NOT to tick the whole town off in a positive way, and I admire them for it.  I tried, but the negativity got the best of me.  My DH had a problem with the town.  He worked so hard to stay on one jobs, but he ended up working at seasonal jobs, and gets bullied ALOT enough for him to figure out what he wants out of his life and dreams of having a permanent job that has people treat him equally.  The only job he stuck around that long was working for my dad as a farmhand, because my dad never judged him for his ways.  And they have no problem working together (if it weren’t for DH being with Dad, he would have been severely injured or killed on the estate farm BY HIMSELF).  But one day, after struggling to find jobs around town, it was time we needed to be somewhere that has more opportunities.    Sure my mom supported us on the move, but dad was not, because he didn’t want us to leave.  Even for my in-laws, FIL supported us in moving, as he was worried about lack of money coming in for us, but MIL was not and (as I mentioned in one of the posts about cancer drugs and its side effects) accused me of taking “her boy” away from the family.  It was hard after we moved to the city, but we felt relieved when my husband worked “real jobs”, as he called it.  And it didn’t take long for my dad to realize that we moved to the city for the better.  We were getting back on our feet, having income coming in the household, paying off the debt and having access to resources we need, as well as building friendships with the RIGHT people SLOWLY.  Today, we are blessed that we are living in a place where we are NOT judged for.

Hm,……………I got four people I knew from the hometown requesting me to be added to their friends’ list on Facebook,………………………..I’ll let them know later,……………..

It was 5 this morning when someone crawled into our bed and wanted to turn on the TV to watch Treehouse Channel and I remember that last night, my hubby wanted to sleep in AGAIN this morning, as he claimed that I got to sleep in last weekend (LIKE, I don’t remember SLEEPING in ever!)  So I had to get up and take him to the living room to fix him a bowl of banana slices and cut-up strawberries for him until DH gets up (oh I say 8 or 9).  I have not planned what kind of a breakfast we will have on a Sunday morning, but I will see what DH likes.  Next weekend, the sleeping in is MINE!

Yesterday was a great day after DH finished work at noon for the day, so we went to the mall, paid the phone bill, went to Zellers and bought birdseeds to fill up our feeder (we love birdwatching for unusual types of birds flying around as well as it gives our cat lots of entertainment to watch from the living room).  Then we went to CD Plus and my DH had found a certain Brad Paisley CD that has the song,”When I get Where I am Going”.  He needed to own one since it was a favorite CD as well as a favorite song of my MIL before she passed away.  And yes, it was even played at her Catholic funeral service.  Everytime we played this song, my mind goes back to the time of sitting at the kitchen table at the family farm, drinking instant coffee instead of brewed coffee, talking about funny things that happened to all of us, as well as remembering the time when DH and I brought DS as a newborn home from the hospital and before we could get in the house, MIL pulled her Blazer in the driveway and raced to see her 6th grandchild, before my parents could get home from Alberta two days later to see their 3rd grandchild.  Oh, the good but roller coaster memories of her but her spirit lives on.

As we did the shopping and paying the bill, DH decided we went to DQ to treat ourselves to ice cream as a family.  He had his Oreo Blizzard while DS and I shared the good ol’ Banana Split.  To me, it was well worth it since it wasn’t about the ice cream I craved for, it was about quality time as a family, something that DH never experienced it as a kid growing up in a family that he call it,”dysfunctional”.  With family time at DQ, now that is a REAL treat.

Two hours before supper last night, I had put pork ribs in the oven to be roasted before I could grill them on the BBQ, and I even chopped up a foil pie plate full of potatoes, onions and added dill and oil.  Then I foil wrapped the baby carrots and peas with chives and butter, all for grill roasting.  It was delicious as usual, since DH loves the BBQ season as well as DS craving for roasted carrots and peas, as well as potatoes.

It was a good day, since we needed most of the nice weather, as well as family time.

Well, it is Sunday, and the lazy day begins.

About time I got a chance to blog as long my head is full of thoughts that has to be jotted down.  Otherwise,……the head explodes and words are lost,…………………somewhere on the carpet that constantly needs vacuuming,…………

So, it is Saturday, and DH is working for four hours this morning to make up for the hours before the overtime is finished, and he looks forward to regular hours, where he can get to spend more time with us as usual as well as put away money for day traveling to nearby lakes for swimming and picnics in weekends.  I know he wants to go camping, as long the spot is really open for holiday long weekends.  Who knows, but it depends on his job, as there may be unexpected emergency in weekends during seeding and summerfallowing time.  But at least there are things to do around in the city in summertime, beside storytime at the library as well as family-friendly events (BBQ with co-workers or friends, Thresherman’s Festival, Canada Day family picnic, etc) but we’ll see what goes on.

So back to DH and work, DS and I drove him to work, and and on the way home (on a chilly morning), we spotted a garage sale, run by a senior citizen couple, who just need to get rid of unused items.  Good thing they have two things I need: a rake and a dry ingredient sieve.  And all they charged me is $2, that’s it.  Sweet deal.

Now that we are home, as soon I finish the blog, I need to vacuum the carpet full of Cheerios, macaroni & Cheese and invisible, unused words that I didn’t use to type the blog with.

Sunday, Sunday,………………..we call it a lazy day, thanks to my husband’s idea since we moved in together the first time.  DH is napping on the couch while DS is sleeping in his playpen.  And me, well, I should be doing something but can’t find something to do QUIETLY.  I hate waking them up on a peaceful Sunday like that.

Oh drats, I forgot to call my mom this morning, But I should.  Last Tuesday, Dad decided that he wanted to test drive a 2008 Ford Escape for a few hours.  Ok, so they tried driving the Escape for an hour’s drive to my place and they LOVED it!  The gas mileage is excellent, even the driving was way much smoother like my ‘94 Explorer, as well as the seats are very comfortable, unlike the 2004 Ford 250 (”Big Blue”) truck my dad inherited from his late brother almost four years ago.  My mom’s ‘93 Buick LeSabre just officially broke down for good and what was the point of her using the “Big Blue” when it is a total waste on gas and maintenance?  I should call them.

 Later that night,……….

 Well, I phoned mom and she told me they traded in the “big Blue” for the new Escape and they are sooooooooo happy!  I thought,”Good, now at least they have two working vehicles they can rely on!” (my Dad has a 2000 Ford 150 1/2 Ton truck and he calls it “Apple Red” because of the color and he uses it for farm chores as well his own use).  I am not going to say I am jealous, but they worked hard for something nice after years of driving vehicles that break down too easily while raising us three kids on the struggling cattle-and-grain farm.  But I still love my ‘94 Ford Explorer because it was my dad’s pick when my last vehicle (an ‘85 Toyota Camry I loved but everyone hated it because of the size) broke down and needs more maintenance than I thought.  The 4×4 wheel drive was awesome, as well it was very easy to maintain (surprising how the fluids for rad, transmisson and oil never change to a bad color because DH maintains it well).  And it never lets us down despite the brakes change, as well as new battery, and I don’t know if I have the heart to let go of it before the day it quits working for good.  I would love a brand new vehicle but still, I have no heart of letting the Explorer go.

 But anyways, that is all that happened today.  Hm,…..I forgot to ask my mom if my sister is jealous that they got the new vehicle and she still has the Windstar that needs extreme CLEANING?:D

DS woked up too early this morning at 6, since DH does not have to work today and tomorrow.  DS tried to turn on the bedroom TV but I thought,”No, Daddy needs his sleep after putting in 50 working hours this week, so he deserves lots of rest.”  While DH slept, I took DS to the living room so he can watch his Treehouse shows while I whip up a breakfast for him.  I also decided to put on coffee so that way I did not fall asleep on the couch while DS is awake before DH gets up.  So later this morning, we went to the Spring Expo at the local fieldhouse/aquatic center/ice arena.  At the expo, DH was drooling at the 700 4W quad he wished to own, but I am thinking, if money was not an issue, where are we putting the quad?  At my parents’ tiny garage that could not fit the 2004 Ford 250?  Or at his Stepfather’s unused shop at the farm that is susceptible to lack of permission by two BILS to use it and bash it at his bitter, miserable sisters’ request? Well, I think I can trust my own parents since they love him too much.  Then we look at a tent-style camper that is soooooo spacious and roomy, with fine screen cloth just enough to keep the mosquitoes out, as well as two big beds that is soooo comfy,….DH had to discourage me away from it since he preferred the 5th wheeler with TV, stereo, gas kitchen, microwave, bathroom, yadda, yadda, in which that will put too much power as well as I am thinking,”why miss out the nature by wasting time inside the 5th wheeler ALL the time, like people do that?”  Call me simple, but there are things to do OUTSIDE on a nice sunny day at the campground beside swimming and walking as well as watch people pass by.  Then we come to the trade/event show part and it is too overwhelming.  I had several insurance companies haggling on us about RESPs and family life insurance policies and it is kinda hard to tell them gently that we already have them with another company (through the company DH works for,…………….hey, 22 dollars a month is cheaper than 200 dollars a month ALONE!)  Then we were filling out our names for the door prizes (nope, haven’t got a call so therefore we haven’t won’t anything at all!) and then, oh look, Tupperware, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Avon, Arbonne, even cooking demos for certain appliances and all that, now that is too overwhelming.  Even DS was not too sure of waiting in a long line to get his face painted.  Overall, it was good but too many people.  In the parking lot, there was a showhome that I am SOOOOOO curious to look inside but,……………………..DH said,”nah, we can decide that later in life.”  Darn.

 After the expo, DH decided we stop by at his brother’s house to see how the house he and his wife are renovating before they can move in.  BIL got his two kids for the weekend (they live with their mother and hour and a half west from here) and the kids saw DS that they hugged and cuddled him.  They all played outside, so when I asked BIL when the house will be done so they can move in from the trailer, and he said,”Never.  We are putting the house up for sale as wife doesn’t know what she wants to do” (in other word, it is him that doesn’t know what he wants in their lives).  First of all, BIL and his wife are living “the spur of the moment”.  Ever since his wife got two inheritances from her mom’s estate (she died in a car accident Xmas Eve 2005) and her grandfather’s estate (he died of heart problems NewYears’ eve 2006), they have blown the money on everything, from buying new furniture (not kid-friendly nor 6-pet-friendly) for the trailer, to unfinished renos at the trailer, to buying a truck he didn’t need, to having two wedding socials (which was poorly planned out), and then decided to buy a house that they decided not to move in after all.  And BIL and his wife are expecting in July, so that is what I call it,”a spur of the moment” because they don’t plan at all.  Thank goodness, DH and I are planners. We know things will run smooth if planned.

Well, since DS have been outside for most of the day, he was so sleepy by 8 tonite, that I was going to read the story book to him, but he took the book from my hands and put it down on the floor and went to sleep.  Smart kid.  Dh and I had a good talk about our day, as well as talk about BIL and wife’s poorly planned out lives.  Not in a judgmental way, but to realize that it is too easy to blow off money like that on something no one can afford.  But now that DH went to bed, I think I should end this as I am too tired to think anymore to blog on.

This morning, DS got so bored that he was tugging me while I was doing dishes.  He was pointing to the door, which is a sign that he wants to go outside.  After getting jackets and shoes on, we headed out the door and DS was smiling because he needed a breath of fresh air. And  yes, I did need a breath of fresh air, too, now that the weather is WARM.  We walked to the free newspaper box for a new issue that just came out last night in certain areas of the city, but our area box was still EMPTY.  Oh well, so we proceeded on the walkway towards the park playground.  DS was too busy exploring so I have to keep my patience since he haven’t seen the changes of nature since last fall from the stroller.  As we walked towards the playground, DS walked right into the mud, as he did not have the rubber boots on hand (we have a hand-me-down pair, but it was a size too large, and we could not find the right sized ones available in the city) and he was smiling that he was stomping it. But there were so much to look around the playground, and he could not help but explore around the ground.  He ran up and down the ramp of the jungle gym, as well as spin the steering wheel at the top of the ramp.  He then walked over to the park benches and studied them for a bit, and wanted to sit on one of them.  It was a nice break from walking for a minute when he climbed down from the bench and ran through the muddy sandbox area.  But suddenly, he stopped and yawned.  I knew he was getting tired from a nice day that we walked home.  He had his lunch and napped for two hours.  I say it was a nice feeling getting outside for fresh air.  But I am still itching to walk as usual to get my energy back.  Hopefully, tomorrow, with DH off for the weekend, we all will go for walks.

Well, things went well today.  I took DS to his first spring storytime for Toddlers at the library this morning, and instead of him running around while the librarian conducts the storytime, he sat THROUGHOUT the whole storytime without getting BORED!  He even danced to the songs he remembered so well after a year’s worth of Storytimes.  And the cutest part is when the librarian said she was going to read a story to everyone, he said,”Okay!”  and the moms, holding their toddlers, chuckled as well as commented how cute he said that.  So it was a good morning without chasing him around the room LOL.

Later on, DS and I brought lunch to DH and he proudly announced that he got promoted from simple assembly to mechanical assembly (installing wirings and plugs to make the farm machinery work) because one young guy was missing work due to calling in sick, and the supervisors hated waiting for him so they asked DH if he would like to do it and he said sure.  He did have a good morning, learning new things he was interested in.    I hope his job lasts well as everyone treated him very well as worked together as a team.

Back in January, I was trying to get started on crafting just clean out the clutter as well as to sell them at garage sales and at the farmer’s market.  Well, I did most of the projects (keychains and cellphone sacks),….but, the procrastination is getting the best of me so I think I should get off the PC and get the fabric and old worn out jeans out of the closet for cutting and measuring.

Later

Well, here I am, writing a first blog to the whole world of people who have nothing better to do than to be on the Net all the time LOL. My DS has just turned 19 months and he is learning and discovering new things that fascinates him the most (but I still have to keep an eye on him all the time as a human babyproofer). My DH is at work as usual, and to be honest, still, I miss him. At the moment, DS is sleeping and I am having a quiet time on the computer.

I have been thinking too much that I probably already burnt my brain from all that. I have not been working since January of 2006 and I still have mixed feelings of whether I should be working or be happy as a SAHM. I love being a SAHM, but I get criticized alot from naysayers like my sister, my SILs, and a few female aquaintances, who believed that I should get back into the “adult” world instead of getting “toddler-stressed”, and that they call me “lazy” because we are a one-income family, living in a rented fourplex suite, with two used vehicles (they run awesome!) ALREADY PAID FOR! Sure we used to own a nice home (800 sq ft, with a nice clean basement)in another town at a reasonable price and it was fully paid for, thanks to my inheritance from my late bachelor uncle’s estate. But there was a problem: there were very limited jobs as well as limited job choices in the town and my DH was a victim of “stereotyping and discrimination because of who he is and couldn’t be reliable enough because of his partying ways” and it sure hits us HARSHLY. So we sold the house and moved to the small city where we currently are, and it was for the better. The jobs that DH took, well, the people he worked with are very open-minded and treats him well. He worked hard as long as he held a job. For me, I was going to find a job myself, but the worst part is, the cost of childcare and the time schedule conflict (his hours were very odd and it is hard to fit the opposite hours, so what could I do?). But DH assured to me that he liked me being a SAHM because I was such a good mom to DS, as well as plan the meals he looked forward to when he gets home from work, as well as see that the housework is done so he doesn’t get stressed about it. For now, I am happy being a SAHM because I didn’t miss out on my DS’s accomplishments throughout his stages of life and never regretted it. We are trying for another one, but it will take time as I am going to be 31 in June and still have stress because of trying to get something done in the household.

So yeah, this is my first blog and that is what I consider myself a NORMAL, BORING WOMAN as usual. Stay tuned, life will get interesting,……………..