Until Marie - my co worker and dear friend. In fact - she is like a second mother to me. I knew she hadn’t been feeling well for a few months and often complained about pain in her breast. We made some of the cuff jokes with sexual overtures - but I don’t think either one of us were prepared for the reality of this pain.

In September of 2006, after weeks of waiting for her mammogram results - it had been confirmed Marie had breast cancer. Knowing how I was feeling - and how many tears I shed over her diagnoses - I can only begin to imagine how she was feeling. She was 50 years old with a son in his mid 20’s and teen age daughter.

Marie didn’t have an easy life. She had seen many hard times - but still amazingly remained a beautiful person, with a kind heart and warm soul. It just seemed so unfair.

She went through months of treatment - chemo and radiation. She coped with loosing her hair, nausea, being forced into early menopause and just plain exhaustion in hopes of winning her battle with this disease.

I am proud to say that earlier this year Marie was declared cancer free. She won her battle! Her hair has grown back and she has a new outlook on life - she lives each day for what is and is starting to do things she wouldn’t have before. She had cancer - but it surely didn’t get her.

Here is a photo of our survivor (in her pink survivor shirt)

crossing the finish line last year. Just weeks after finishing up her radiation.

Sadly - not everyone is so lucky. Here are a few statistics about Breast Cancer -http://www.cancer.ca/Canada-wide/About%20cancer/Cancer%20statistics/Stats%20at%20a%20glance/Breast%20cancer.aspx?sc_lang=en

Breast cancer is the most common cancer among Canadian women.

In 2008, an estimated 22,400 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 5,300 will die of it.

An estimated 170 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 50 will die of it.

On average, 431 Canadian women will be diagnosed with breast cancer every week.

On average, 102 Canadian women will die of breast cancer every week.

One in 9 women is expected to develop breast cancer during her lifetime. One in 28 will die of it.

Breast cancer death rates have declined in all ages combined and in every age group since at least the mid 1990s.

Incidence and death rates for breast cancer have declined since 1969 in women aged 20-39.

These facts are real - and the reason why it is so important to check your breast regularly for any irregularities. Cancer does not discriminate.

For more information or to make a donation - please follow my personal donation link - together we can find a cure!!

https://www.cibcrunforthecure.com/html/personal_page.asp?track=2775994&languageid=1

Also, here is another link for more information.

http://www.cbcf.org/breastcancer/

This was all you could see last year walking down the street - what an amazing thing! All these people - affected and committed to finding a cure

For Marie and Yoda’s Mom and anyone else who has been touched by this disease.

Lucky - me?? Who couldn’t squeeze luck out of horseshoe if it hit me in the face. I mean, we still rent - live pay check to pay check and have many things in our lives we would like to see different.

But, the more I thought about this comment - the more I realized I am lucky. I have an amazing son - who has an incredible bond with both his mother and father. He is happy, healthy, smart and so loving. I have an amazing fiancee who may not always do the dishes or pick up around the house - but loves me and our son like no tomorrow. There is nothing that he wouldn’t do for this family and I know we always come first.

We have jobs that allow us to pay our bills,  we have our health, we have family and friends who love us, a roof over our head and pets to share our home. We have each other.

We spend some much time wanting what other’s have - wanting to be *that* couple who *seems* to have everything that sometimes we forget what we have.  We forgot that we are so blessed, that other’s view us as *lucky*.

I AM lucky - to have all of this…..

And so are all of you - don’t forget to take a moment to remember!

However, we had an amazing week. As selfish as it sounds - I was so grateful to have my boys all to myself for 5 full days! It was a busy week no doubt, but doesn’t by an means take away from any of the memories and smiles that were created this week.

We started out with a birthday party for one of our fellow CPO friend’s lil guy! Virgoleo’s son turned 3 - I can’t even begin to figure out where the time went. When we first got all these kids together they were barely walking, talking or understanding what a birthday party meant. Now, they are all running in every direction, gabbing away and eagerly awaiting the arrival of the birthday party. It was a beautiful day - and Virgoleo’s DS is such a smart and handsome lil guy. Myles was so excited about the party and had such a blast with all the kids.

Thank you to all of you for sharing his special day with us - I can honestly say that my family adores all of you!

Myles with AmberV’s lil guy’s going for a ride……

Myles going for a run through the park

Sunday we packed up and headed to Killbear Provincial Park in Noble, On - just past Parry Sound. I have to admit I had my reservations upon finding out that there were both Bears and rattle snakes - however I figured many people have camped there - and lived to tell the tale - so I sucked it up. Imagine how thrilled I was when I found out they removed two bears from the park the previous day, right at Blind Bay - which is the part of the park we stayed in. Yikes! We spent our time on the beautiful beaches. We had to trek down rocks, but it was worth it -as most of the time were on our own - almost like having our own private beach. I was also so proud of Myles, who finally put himself in the water after tons of previous occasions that had been met with resistance.

We also spent a little time at the nature center, enjoyed the campfires and spent alot of time laughing and reading. I am truely appreciative of Myles love for books. We were also fortunate enough have pretty good weather - with the exception of a crazy thunder storm the night before we left. Gord and I didn’t sleep very well, but Myles slept like a rock.

We loved Killbear tho, it is simply beautiful and we’ve already decided that this is where we will be spending our vacation again next year.

Myles by the water

My boys playing in the sand

Myles slowly inching towards the water - he did eventually end up sitting in the lake playing

The sunset over the lake

Bear traps!

Wednesday morning we packed up and headed  to a Cottage we rented in Bracebridge. After stopping at the liquor store, grocery store and laundry mat - we didn’t arrive until late afternoon - but the cottage was perfect. It was recently updated, with two bedrooms a perfect closed in sunroom and a floating dock right on the river. It was odd getting used to seeing boats go back and forth in your backyard!

Thursday was a perfect day - we did a whole lot of nothing. Laying on the dock, reading, talking and just relaxing! Gord did get out on the paddle boat and we did have some cute lil ducks who I think were used to being hand feed as they hung around until we gave in and fed them! LOL

The cottage

Myles sitting on the dock reading

Gord out in the paddle boat

The sunset over the dock

Friday we made our way home. We stopped off at Weber’s on highway 11 for some food. They have a super cool bridge the covers both ends of the highways so you can access it from either side.

Myles looking out the bridge over the highway

We then stopped on Vaughn Mills on the way home before, going to see my in laws.

Myles in his *race car*

And going for a ride at the Nascar Speedway

We had a super week - I think this picture sums it up best!

I got up Friday morning and acted like normal - showering and getting ready for work. Just as we were about to head out the door for work, I had Myles hand Gord two cards. One containing floor tickets to Lenny Kravitz - and the other for a reservation for a weekend at Rondeau Provincial Park. It was quite humerus watching Gord put two and two together and finally realizing we were leaving that very day for this camping excursion.

I also managed to keep a cake and have it for desert after dinner at our campsite. I was quite impressed it kept so well.

Make a Smilebox postcard

Rondeau Provincial Park is located in Morpeth, ON - just before Chatham. Upon check in we arrived at our site - which in all honestly was horrible. We ended up with a bunch of kids in their early 20’s all with drinks in hand at 2 in the afternoon. This coupled in with the fact that there was NO shade on this site - gave us the feeling that staying on this site wasn’t going to result in a good weekend. We went back to the office where the gladly allowed us to change sites. Despite the fact that there was little privacy between sites - I have to say Rondeau is one of my favorites.

Rondeau has cottages that are located right within the park, a store equipped with basic needs, to food that could be purchased already made and ICE CREAM - tell me that isn’t heaven???

The hands down favorite for me - and where we spent most of our time was at the Lake. It was simply breath taking and peaceful.

We had an amazing weekend, with great weather - and tons of laughter. This weekend was nothing short of perfect.

Make a Smilebox photobook

I never met Darlene - and truth be told - I hadn’t corresponded with her in sometime. But it didn’t change the sheer shock I felt when I read the post *Sad News* - I kept reading Darlene - killed - car accident. I didn’t matter how many times I read those words - I couldn’t comprehend it - I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

Darlene joined CPO back in 2006 and dove right in. She was posting all over the place - adding a laugh, sound advice - or just a hug if that was all that needed. I loved reading her posts - but even more I loved her quick wit and lively sense of humor. During our banter sessions - she always put a smile in face. In fact - I remember one conversation we had about cheese - yes cheese - and only the two of us could end up in stitches over a conversation to do with cheese. Behind the scenes Dar and I had several PM conversations - some light hearted, other’s more intent and involved. I could always see her warm heart and smile - and sincere desire to help. There was no mistaking she had a heart of gold, as a friend, as a family member and most importantly - as a mother.

I try to live my live with no regrets, but as of today I can say I have one - never having the opportunity to meet Darlene and letting our good times get lost in life and being busy. It didn’t occur to me until hearing of the devastating news just how much of an impact she had on my life - even if it was only for a brief time.

Dar - I miss you, more then you could ever know. I am proud to have *known* you and am sad that we will never laugh over cheese again. Loosing you has been felt through the CPO community - and from various things I have read - you left a positive impact everywhere you went. I truely admired so many things about you, the ability to pick up and keep going, to have such an optimistic outlook but mostly, the love you had for you boys - I can only hope to ever be half the mother to Myles that you were to your boys.

RIP my friend - you are never gotten. Oct 20, 1973 - July 12, 2008

Myles had his pediatrician’s appointment this morning. I’m pleased to share it went very well, basically with the pediatrician saying that she wasn’t sure why it was we were there.

She spent alot of time talking and observing Myles. He was happily playing with some blocks and some cars and although she was very inconspicuous about watching him I knew she was watching and listening to everything he said and everything he did. She gathered our suspicions as well as asking not only background information on Myles, but us as well. She had also thought at one point that perhaps Myles might have a central auditory processing (CAP) disorder. However it was ruled out after asking him a series of two to three parter requests. IE take off your shoes and hop on the scale, tell me what number you see?

At the end her real point of interest and yet concern is Myles memory. He has an amazing one - and this is how he learns and is able to spell words that are anywhere from 3 to 6/7 letters long. Her thoughts is that because Myles memory is so proficient - he may be lacking in another area of learning. So bottom line is that she has asked us to come back once Myles is done JK to show her Myles report card. It’s suspected that Myles may end with a learning disability - if there isn’t one already.

On another note, she has also put in a request to have Myles tested for a peanut allergy. He has reacted twice now to peanuts and it will be nice to finally know either way if it is an allergy and the severity.

This has been one bumpy ride and although I know and realize we aren’t totally out of the woods yet, I can’t help but be grateful for this experience as gut wrenching as it was at times.

I say I am grateful, simply because throughout this time I’ve learned that it both Gord and I love our son regardless and whatever life throws at us, that will never change nor will the ability to cope with situations such as this as a family.

As many people are and will be celebrating Canada’s birthday with fireworks and festivities - Myles and I are at home while Gord is at work. We decided to spend our weekend camping at Bass Lake provincial park in Orillia. We we lucky enough to come home with colds!!! Blech - colds in July! So Myles and I sit here snuggled in bed, he - grossly in engaged in the Backyardigans -while i attempt to blog about our camping trip between various Kleenex moments.

We headed up to Bass Lake on Saturday mid afternoon. After going the long way - which Gord still insists would have been quicker then taking the 400 - LOL, we finally reached our destination about 5pm. We set up the tents and then headed into town to pick up enough food to get us through the weekend. Myles was SO excited to be camping that he was up until midnight Saturday listening to the rain inside our tent with Gord and I. Luckily Myles didn’t seem to notice the *odd* noises coming from the site either across or beside us. Seems this couple was really making use of the inclement weather! LOL!

Sunday morning was nice and warm. We had some breakfast and a few games of pseudo badminton. Just after lunch the clouds grew dark and the rain started again. We opted to take a trip in the car around the park and see what there was. Through the light drizzle we wandered down the beach and let Myles have some time at the playground. He didn’t seem to mind that his butt grew increasingly wet with each slide or that a nice collection of sand was gathering on the back of his legs each time he reached the end of the slide. LOL!

Once we realized the rain wasn’t going to let up for a while, we headed back to our site and played a few rounds of Yahtzee - of course we bent the rules as Myles had his own way of playing. Which included taking over the turns of Gord and myself. By dinner time things had cleared and we were able to get a campfire going. We roasted some marshmallows and hung out by the fire. Myles entertained us with a few squeaks from his harshmonica (we would call is a harmonica).

Despite the crappy weather, treks the bathroom and coming home sick - I can honestly say it was a wonderful weekend. These short get aways - that force us away from the TV, laptops, and the stresses of daily life are just what we need to rediscover what a super family unit we have and how nice it is to just spend leisure time together.

Only three weeks until our next camping trip - but shhhhhh - don’t tell Gord, it’s his birthday surprise!

Gord cooking breakfast

Gord and Myles cooking some Marshmellows

The start of the sunset

Campfire

Last night Gord and I were sitting in bed talking, and he just looked at me and said - ya, I had a really nice day. That brought a smile to my face, as that was all I really wanted, for both Gord and Myle’s to have a day that was happy and special.

I got up with Myles yesterday morning and did some cleaning. About 10:30, I sent Myles in - armed with two cards to wake daddy up. Myles jumped on him and gave him his cards which also included wine delivered to our house every month for a year, and a gift card for Canadian Tire. A place I can NEVER seem to get Gord out of. We met up with Gord’s parents and brothers for a buffet brunch. It was super yummy and Myles loved the ice cream!!!

After brunch we headed out to a greenery and picked up some flowers to add to our little garden as well and a huge plant that we scored an awesome deal on.

I couldn’t help but laugh at Gord’s mom who was *helping* me pick out flowers to make a hanging basket before we found our awesome deal. I don’t have a green thumb in the least, so asking my opinion was like asking a worm how much he liked the sun. One of my favorite moments tho from the garden center was the little bit of time that Myles spent with Gord’s dad. There was a space that was beautifully laid out with a bridge, water and flowers everywhere. Myles and Gord’s dad were kneeling down on the bridge watching the water. I’ll have to ask my MIL later for the pictures to add in, it was such a beautiful moment.

One the way back we stopped at the cemetery left flowers for my grandfather who passed just before Xmas. Myles placed the flowers in the little vase we left when we had taken flowers for grandma on Mother’s Day, while saying Happy Father’s day Grandpa. I’m sure my dad and step mom have been out there as well, being as there is a beautiful little set up for planted flowers now.

Speaking of my dad - I did manage to muster up the courage to say Happy Father’s day. Last year at this time we were knee deep in an argument and I had chosen not to acknowledge him or the day. Although our conversations are still a little hesitant and reserved, I could hear in his voice how appreciative he was to hear from both Myles and I.

I know I enjoyed spending the day with family, and it was so nice to know that Gord’s day was special as well.

On another note Saturday we decided to go to our local Multicultural festival for dinner. As we were approaching the festival, I jokingly said to Myles do you want to go jump in the bouncy thing? I knew his answer would be no…..he hates rides, those inflatable bouncy things and even simple train rides. As we got closer I said Are you SURE you don’t want to go bounce?? Imagine my surprise when he said ya…I do. So, he did….and he LOVED it….

I dunno if this is progress within our suspicions, as this is also one of his traits that had us concerned. Or if he is just getting braver with his age. None the less, for us this was a big moment, watching him laugh, take and chance and have fun!!! I can hardly wait for the CNE this year - we just might see some action from him.