These past few days have been nothing less then an emotional roller coaster. I feel like I’m walking around in daze - searching for anything that could be an answer or make sense.
I get up in the morning - the same way I do everyday. I go to work to manage a team of employees and pretend like everything is fine. I do my best to not let them know in the back of my head is this nagging fear. I look at the picture of my beautiful baby boy proudly displayed in my office and fight back the tears. And then I think, what’s the point in being so worked up?? I mean it’s not like we know anything with 100% certainty. It’s really a 50/50 shot here - there COULD be something wrong, and there also maybe nothing wrong.
This really isn’t the worst case scenario should we get the expected diagnoses. At the end of the day I will still have my son and it doesn’t change anything about him. He will still be the bright, happy boy will bring just as much joy and happiness to us as he does now. So really does it matter? Does a diagnoses change anything??
The positive about this, is that I know who can count on. We have an amazing support unit on our side who know that even though I may not want to talk - that I appreciate the support more then I could even put into words. Not only that - but Gord - is my rock as I hope I am his. One simple glance or warm embrace and I know that I am not doing this alone. We are going through this together - and together we will get through this.