King For A Day…………

Well it’s another day confined to my house……………….there is still snow up to the ying yang and now because it was half warm yesterday after some snowfall everything is pretty much ice……………….not a good place to be when you have kiddies……….so therefore I can’t go for a walk or even get out to take a deep breathe of the polluted air from the mill…………….lol………………I know I know but if the wind is blowing in the right direction that’s all I smell and it’s not very good……………anyhow I really want to get out.  Believe it or not I really want to exercise and get somewhat of a shape back to my body after having three kiddies in the past seven years………………

I have to say I am really unhappy about my body but not unhappy on how I got this way……………..I never thought that having children would be so tough on my body……………..I have packed on any easy 30 pounds since my first child…………even though after every child I’ve lost the weight I’ve gained throughout the pregnancy…………….I find food is my comfort and when I’m bored I eat……………..so being stuck in this house all winter well it hasn’t helped the figure let me tell ya………………

And really it’s my own fault for being stuck in here too cause I don’t drive…………….I am 28 yrs old and I don’t have my license……………..it never occured to me being a teenager that I should get them as we never ever had an extra car to drive anyway and forget about borrowing my Dad’s baby - which wasn’t me by the way………..lol - but rather a ‘75 cj Jeep - custom made by the one and only my Daddy……………….. and of course it’s a standard too so no way I was taking that baby out…………although I suppose I did dream once or twice about picking up some honey’s in it when I was about 17……………lol………………but still I didn’t have anything to drive so why was I going to spend money I didn’t have anyways to get my license only to have just sit in my wallet and be forgotten about!!  Which brings me back to me being stuck in the house my fault……………..I suppose if I got my license at least I could go the library or swimming with the kids……..but then again where I live they bus the students home for lunch…………….so I wouldn’t have much time to do anything anyways………….by the time I got the other two ready I’d have to start making dinner for my other daughter who would be home from school around noon and back to the bus stop for 12:30 ish…………….gotta love living in a small town………..

 Which brings me to my next topic of discussion……………….lol………………..my DH the geologist……………..I love him to pieces but his career has definately brought us to our highs and lows…………….and the reason for three moves in the past year from one side of the country to the other and now back again…………….and with kiddies and doggies in tow!!! It has definately been trying but I love him and our family and it is important for our family to be together so we did it together…………and our lastest move has landed us in a small town in Newfoundland……………….oh the joys…………….I mean don’t get me wrong I love Newfoundland I’m a born and raised newfie girl so I’m proud to be a Newfoundlander but I’m not happy with living in this small town that’s a complete dump!!  There is no gyms, no good shopping stores, no good swimming pools, not even a Shoppers Drug Mart…………….the nearest one is at least 2o mins away…………..It sucks not being able to go to places that I took for granted………..I miss the big city………………I’ve always lived in a big city………….First St. John’s then Calgary then Moncton and now here…………….all I got to say is that I’m looking forward to the mine closing………………and that’s at least another six years away………………what the heck am I going to do here for six years……………………puts so many questions in my head and little answers for them as well………………..

The questions that pop in my head are:

- By the time six years  come I’ll be wanting to back to school to upgrade my profession to get a better job and there are no schools that offer my course except for almost five hours away…………..

- How will I function if I’ve got to be confined to my house with no friends around me……………….again my friends are almost five hours away

- Will I ever hold all this on my husband because we moved for his job…………..to me in my mind it’s a no but really we’ve only been here 5 mths…………..ask me at the end of six years………………lol………….

- And do I really have to move again………………not that I want to stay here either but if I wanted to move around so much I would have joined the military….lol…..do I really have to uproot my children from school agian………….and this time they will be older and have more of a basis for friends and what not……………..will they hold it against us forever……………it’s such a dilema……………

- Will I ever find complete happiness when the kids go to school full time which will be in six years………………what will I do with my life…………….I’ve been a mother for so long that I don’t know how to be an individual who gets up and has a career everyday……………….how do I do that…………….will I want to do that……………….my husband says I can still stay home………….but will I want to…………….

Life is such a conflict sometimes and most of the time it’s only a conflict within ourselves………………..and with that being said I will end here……………….write more later……………..