King For A Day…………

It totally occured to me today that I haven’t blogged in sooooo long!!  It’s not that I meant to I had just been so busy with life and moving again and birhtday parties and soccer practices…………..and a visit from the inlaws………..I just plain forgot!!

 I don’t even know where to begin…………….

 I guess I’ll begin by saying that we (our family) must have the worst luck in the world when it comes to getting a break at life.  We have struggled so much over the past six years it’s not funny.  We have gone through deaths, no debits to debit up the ying yang, moving across the country twice, and the list goes on and on well……………again we got two steps ahead and ten steps back.

I’ll start by saying that we moved to this hick town because of DH’s work and we moved into this older home which we didn’t like but accepted it because of the fact that it was all we could find to rent at the time of our move.  And we didn’t want to buy well for one we didn’t have any savings to have a downpayment and we didn’t want to buy a house that we were only going to get to live in for five-seven years cause that’s how long DH has this job……………….so we grinned and beared it……………..well a few months ago we were doing good starting to get our debit down and starting to be comfortable again especially with all the things we had gone through in the previous two years.  And then the bad luck hits…………..the man that we are renting from decided he was going to put the house on the market……………GREAT…………….and then we immediately started searching for a new place……………which hasn’t been easy and has been quite challenging…………….but we found a place……………..in a nicer neighbourhood with nicer neighbours, people around that we knew, etc, etc but there is a catch…………….this house is for sale as well.   Keeping in mind it has been on the market for two years now…………..but still there is still no safety net there and what do we do it we have move again…………….it was already hard enough finding a place to live now what will it be like in a few months but then there could be the issue that the owner doesn’t sell it and we are here for awhile……………….although I’d like to believe that we will be here until DH is finished is probably next to nil in the changes………………it just stresses to no end that we are moving our children around this town so much………….maybe we should have bought a house when we first moved down and got 100% financing on it…………….its definately been challenging that’s for sure!!!

 I have soo much more to talk about but I think I will keep it here for now as I’d just be writing all day if I tell you all of it……………lol…………

Mother’s Day was such a beautiful day………………..I’m really impressed with my hubby this year……………….

 The girls were up at around 7:30am but decided to play in their rooms for awhile and my little man was still asleep and being an angel……………..Eight o’clock rolls around and I’m ready to get up and get my day started but DH told me I had to stay in bed until breakfast was finished because he was making me breakfast and had some other little things to do so I was not allowed downstairs………………..so I closed the bedroom door and got back under the covers and snuggled down until 10:30am when my oldest girl came into my room and screamed out “Mommy breakfast is reeeaaddyyy!”.  So I get up and dressed and head downstairs to be greeted by all three kiddies smiling away and saying Happy Mother’s Day well except the baby but he was still smiling…………….lol

I sat down to the table and was greeted by homemade gifts that my oldest had done in Sparks and in school………..it was very sweet…………….she made a card in school and wrote some special things on the inside that really made me fill up and fight back the tears………..lol……………..she didn’t say anything about buying her things or any such things she has things that really mattered and that I wondered if she really realized them like reading her books, playing soccer with her in the backyard and going for walks with all of them and cooking them meals…………….she’s a really great kid and that card showed me that she really does value what I do for her regardless of her telling me everyday or not…………that card will always be remembered……….I loved it!!!  She also did a glittery handprint from sparks that had a cute little verse to go with it………….the verse went like this:

Sometimes you get discouraged, Because I am so small, And Always leavy my fingerprints, On furniture and Walls.  But every day I’m growing, I’ll be grown some day, And all those tiny handprints, Will surely fade away.  So here’s a little handprint, justo so you can recall, exactly how my fingers looked, When I was very small!!

How sweet is that………………who could ask for anything better……………I don’t need glitz and glamour on mother’s day but just plain ol’ love and hugs and kisses and time with my family……………….now you can see why I was tearing up so much……….lol

My husband also bought me some new house plants cause the ones that I had kicked the bucket a little while ago from some fungas that was growing on them………………not sure what it was but it killed them in any case………….anyway DH passed me two cards as well……………one was from the kiddies and one was from him…………….and he made me cry of course……………..he had this written on the inside of the card:

I would not want anyone else to be the mother of my children, Your the best and this one of the many wonderful reasons I love you so much!!!

And again it’s why I cried and why I love my husband so very much although I didn’t need mother’s day to know how he feels cause he tells me everyday when he emails me from work……………….I know we are lovey, gushy and mushy but that’s the way we always have been and  I love it!!!

 Then we had breakfast……………….we had homemade chocolate chip waffles with bacon, susages, cool whip and apple juice………..it was delicious and I ate so much………………..yum yum!!!

I then took it easy and spent time with the kiddies and DH and watched DH do all dished and do the baby’s bottles as well…..it was so nice to see……………….

We then got dressed and headed out to the supermarket because I need to pick up a few things we didn’t get the night before when we went grocery shopping and then we went and picked up some pizza because I did not want to cook and I couldn’t decide what I wanted DH to cook me so I decided on take out for everyone…………….its was good and nice and easy and little clean up for DH……………

Overall my day was beautiful and having these memories is the best mother’s day present I could have asked for……………

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY EVERYONE…………………….hope you all had a ‘beautiful day’ like I did!!

Well Saturday my daughters Sparks group had a mother daughter day.  It was absolutely splendid…………I had so much fun and me suggestion all of what we did really made me feel good.

I guess I should start by saying that my daughter goes to school with the Sparks leaders daughter…………….they are friends and have playdates and such so Margaret calls me quite often and we have become friends over the past few months so she calls one morning to ask if I could think of suggestions for the mother daughter day…………..so I say give a while and I’ll get back you……..It was early in the morning and my brain was still asleep which is the way it is most days………….lol

Anyway I searched some things on the net and added my own things and well she decided to pick from the list of things I had suggested which I was really pleased with………………….so she decided on doing a scrapbooking page and the mothers bringing some pictures of them together and doing a cute little page together……………which was fantastic because it’s a memory I will have forever especially cause I let my daughter do it all herself I just helped with sticky tape and such………….lol………………and we also planted a flower/seeds in a nice glass vase type thing with some ribbons on it………..we also had some young teenagers come in and do the girls hair and paint their nails which of course my daughter loved because she is soooooooooooo girlie……………..This day was perfect!!

Well there was one downer but it wasn’t anything my daughter did or anything like that it was two of the other parents and one of them being the other leader for the group not the leader that I was friends with!!  This is what happened…….

I also took it upon myself to go to the Dollarama store across town to pick up some scrapbooking stickers and such to have for everybody……………….nobody asked me to do it I just thought it was a nice gesture and that it was something to spruce up the pages cause I love to scrapbook and I know there are things that would just make the page more special besides just putting the pictures on and such!!!  And of course I paid for it out of my own pocket and expected nothing in return and I had enough for everyone to have two photo corners for each photo and some extra stickers like stars and flowers………………I didn’t tell anyone that I had purchased them or anything I just handed them out and told them that they could use them if they wanted to…………….

But these to ladies actually complained that they didn’t have enough……………..are you serious……………..these weren’t even purchased by Margaret they were purchased by me and donated to everyone so that they could make there picture more special……………I thought I was doing a good thing…………….and they totally brought me down cause I really just wanted this day to be special for everyone instead they turn it in to greed………………it was heartbreaking to me………….and they are saying this in front of their children…………….that’s not a lesson I want my daughter to learn…………….why do people act this way!!!

I also baked a cake and cupcakes and decorated it as well……………….something else I volunteered to do because I wanted to and I wanted to make the day more special…………….for everyone…………….after all it was suppose to be about spending time with your daughter!!  I will attach a picture at the bottom…………….

Maybe I was just trying to hard because after all I am the new mother as we only moved here in November and I was trying to show people that I am just……………..well ME………………

Besides having my feeling hurt by these women I had a fantastic day with my daughter and realized I should do it more often and that’s what she needs especially since we have two other children that demand my attention……………I think from now on I will take her out once a month and have a mother daughter day and I will do this with my other daughter as well………it’s lesson well learned and I’m glad I learned it now rather than later!!!

LOL……………I know I know but hey with this impending monthly friend it just reminds me that being a woman sucks sometimes.

I have to say I’m struggling this month with ‘Auntie Flo’ as she seems to have changed her arrival time yet again this month.  So after going to the drug store twice now to get pregnancy tests to make sure I wasn’t preggers I sit here and wonder when she will show herself this month.

This is the third month in a row that she has been late………………….and I get my hopes up thinking that yes I am preggers……obviously cause I am  never late, like clock work since I started my period some 17 years ago……so I’m thinking yay another baby and it would definately be our last this time………………..although DH is a bit weary on another baby at this point but he would welcome it all the same but would be stressed to the high heavens because of it (financially of course)!!!  See the thing about that is I want another child but DH doesn’t because of the fact we would find it tight as far as money goes as we would have to get a new car and other baby items that we have but our son is still using them and would still be using them when the baby would arrive if I was preggers and I do understand that but I’ve always wanted four kids…………….so I suck it up and agree with him and be happy with the family that I got and that’s it but now with ‘Auntie’ playing peek-a-boo she’s really toying with my emotions and how much I want another child.

DH has seen a doctor about getting the ‘ole snip snip’ done…………lol…………….so it’s only a matter of time before they call him with a date and time for the impending doom not being able to have any more children!!!  Boo Hoo…………………so having another child has a time limit right now and we don’t know the expiry date…………….DH says he’ll cancel the appt but I’m still struggling about that and I’m not sure about it…………………I want to be happy but I want the rest of my family and DH happy as well……………..I guess pondering it more would be a good idea……………….I’m so tore about this family decision………………aarrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!

I know I understand where he is coming from but I just find it sooooooooooo difficult to accept especially when ‘Auntie’ is five days late and playing mind games with me……………….I swear I’ve had every symptom of pregnancy the past two months and then BAM ‘Auntie’ shows up……………..and this month the same way………………..seriously I was thinking if I didn’t start today that I am pregnant and the other tests were just taken too early but nope late this morning BAM she reers her ugly head……………………….so therefore I hate being a woman today…………………I’d love being a woman if I was pregnant though………………lol

But now I’m worried why all of a sudden is ‘Auntie’ taking a longer vacation than usual………………is it because I’m heading towards getting older and another impending doom - menopause……………I know I have quite a few years before that happens yet but what if I’m one of those women that get in their thirties……………I would be crushed………and poor hubby…lol……….but I’m going to stay strong and keep in mind that I am getting older and I’ve had three children already so things were bound to change sometime right??? 

So now my cycle is no longer 28 days but 33 days……………….guess that means I have a longer time to have fun with hubby………..lol  :blush:

Well it’s almost complete………………..I need cups and I just have to pick up the stuff for the loot bags and I’m still trying to figure out what else I can put in there………………I have a juice box, two small packages of sweet tarts, a fruit roll-up, a Hannah Montana sticker and that’s where I run out of ideas…………….I don’t want to do the normal pencil and eraser thing but finding something that is low in cost is really difficult…………any suggestions please forward them along………….lol!!!

So I am so exicted to have all this bought………………..and as you remember I had to buy it off ebay so I bought the last of it yesterday……………….I had major money flow yesterday as I got off my bottom last week and sold a full big and I mean big sized rubbermaid container full of clothes from my daughters that they grew out of………………..and I’m so proud that I sold all of it but one little set………………and it paid for the last of the decorations, and outfit for my little man, and outfit for my drama princess and some birthday presents for DD and some new Hannah Montana curtains for her room because she wants a Hannah Montana room………………so we have to paint it anyways so we figured we would let her pick everything out on her own……………….so I also got a mural of Hannah Montana too on ebay for $8.95……….what a steal……………..it’s 40″ by 60″ so that’s really big………………and DD is so excited for it……………and I’m happy that we could get it for her with the extra money I got from selling her and her sisters old clothes…………….and I’m also happy that I have one less rubbermaid container full of clothes upstairs so therefore less clutter for me……………….WOO HOO!!!!

 Oh yeah I have to get presents for Lucky cup, plate and napkin as well but that’s only what maybe $30 if that……………probably just get some crayola gift sets and we’ll be set……………..and besides they are gender neutral as I won’t have to buy a boy and girl gifts for both……………….like I did last year……………the silly woman that I am!!!  LOL……I had soooooooooooo much stuff left over last year that I ended up throwing most of it out in the garbage and donated the lootbag stuff to the needy so they got some surprises from it………………..

I guess you can call me over the top when it comes to birthdays but it is after all only once a year and I’m sure in another year or two she’ll just want girls to stay over and have pizza and a movie so I’m enjoying while I can………….

My daughter also shares her birthday with my Dad……………..and I’ll never forget that day I seen his face………….I’m lying in the bed breastfeeding my newly born daughter and he stands in the  doorway so that he doesn’t see anything………….he’s very private that way………….but that’s what makes him Dad…………….and his face was just beaming……………of course it was beaming……………he’s baby (me)  just gave birthday to his first biological grandchild on his birthday (not that my Dad treats my sisters any differently or even his grandchildren any differently I guess it was just bittersweet for him………….afterall I was biologically his so I can see why he would be so delighted…………….and of course there was the fact that I only lived downstairs from him in the basement apartment of his house……………..lol……………..so he seen me and the baby everyday……………there was just more of a connection there…………..it’s hard to explain without seeming like my Dad only cared about me and not my sisters……if that makes any sense…………….my Dad afterall did adopt my sisters so in reality they are his daughters just like I am……………..anyway enough of that you get the picture……………….and again I’m digressing……………..lol!!

So Birthday party checklist 95% complete………………….yay for me!!!  Less stress until the big day of her party……………lol………..

This is a question I have been nagging myself with since I am now starting to plan my daughter’s 7th birthday party!!  Well actually it’s a major early birthday party because her birthday is in July and since she doesn’t have school in July and I have no idea where all her classmates live to give invitations to……..lol…………….we are opting for the first week of June or rather we were hoping to have it the first week of June but as it turns out there are two other little girls that were born on the same day as my daughter so now I have to make it earlier so everyone will come cause they are having their birthday parties early as well…………….

Anyway on to my point…………….the thing is does every child remember the birthday parties that their parents spend so much money on and go out of their way to make special and everything else??  I know it’s not the money so much as it is the little things but those little things are becoming expensive to along with everything else these days!!  But to be honest I don’t really remember……..so either I have a bad memory which I will admit I do at times……..lol……..but it’s called mommy brain not memory loss……….lol……………or my parents (mainly my mohter because Dad was to busy to support us as he was the only income and we had a five person family) didn’t really go out of their way to make it special like I do with my children…..but I guess times are also different……………….I don’t remember getting the big parties like my daughter does and I surely don’t remember them being themed……..maybe my cake was a certain character but then again my mother is  a cake decorator by trade so I always had the best decorated cakes…………lol….but I definately don’t remember there being themed plates/cups/tablecovers, etc………..which brings me on to my next thing!!!  I know I know I’m complaining but really it’s not complaining about spending the money or anything but it’s just the big planning and getting ready for it that really wears me out…………….I’m exhausted………………….lol!!  Not to mention that nobody RSVP’s anymore so you don’t know how much to prepare for…………..it’s frustrating and stressful……………well it is to me anyway cause I prepare for it and make sure we have everthing single detail taken care of…………..I’m really thinking I have OCD(obsessive-compulsive disorder) when it comes to having things a certain way or looking a certain way!!

Anyway I live in a small town with only a Walmart and a small one at that for my basic shopping needs and a Dollarama which if you shop there they don’t carry the ever popular ‘HANNAH MONTANA’ birthday themed plates, cups, decorations, etc…………………so where in the heck do I get these said things that my daughter wants……….and the closest big shopping center is five hours away and we aren’t going there anytime soon……….well you might have guessed it  already but Ebay………………..and as you know most of the stuff is located in the US so now I’m hoping that they don’t get held up in customs………well I have till the end of May so I’m hoping everything will be fine……….oh dear then what would I do………………how will my daughter react to that……….I would feel so terrible………that would break her heart cause she is so excited to have a ‘HANNAH MONTANA’ party!!  Obviously nobody else is doing it cause they can’t get it here and parents here don’t seem to go out of their way like I do so either I’m just really anal about my daughter having the best birthdays ever or -this is going to sound bad but- simple………………….

Everything just year seems to be Hannah Montana with my little girl………………..which makes me want to cry really because she is getting so big and getting so mature but still little girl all wrapped up into one, if you know what I mean??!!  It feels like she grew up a bit over night………………last year was Bratz and the year before was Barbie……………..and now Hannah Montana who is a teenage idol………….where did the time go??

I guess a word of advice to everybody…………….cherish every moment together and love and treat your kids with so much respect and love that they will want to stay your babies forever………………well not really but you get the idea……………lol!!

And really I do see a difference on how children act and protray themselves these days…………….my little girl is just that a little girl but other little girls in her class wear make up and put colored streaks in their hair and act so much older than what they are………….I don’t want that for my little girl even if that makes her the odd one out…………….she deserves so much more than being more of a young girl than a little girl if you understand what I’m trying to say……………she deserves just to be a little girl without all the pressures and everything else that would make her seem more grown up than she is already!!

Anyway enough with my rant………………that’s it it’s over……………..just how I feel and I know everyone parents differently and some people may not see a big deal about make up or hair streaks but I do…………….I just want my little girl to grow up with out society’s influence on her at such a young age!!!

Anyway that’s all for today…………….write more later I’m sure………………

So Mommy and Daddy might actually get alone time…………………..well not really……………..we had friends in last night so I suppose in a way we did get alone time  cause our kiddies were in bed but not so much cause we had company.  Don’t get me wrong I love entertaining and what not but I would much rather a night at a nice restaurant and a movie or something with my husband.  I think the last time we were out by ourselves was before our son was born and that was seven months ago.  And it will continue to be a lot longer………………….as we live in a small community that we know absolutely no one………….well we have a few people my husband works with that we know but not enough for our children to know and know them enough for us to feel comfortable to leave in care of these people.  I’m sure they would do an awesome job but still our children have never met them cause they are always in bed when they arrive.  So to have alone time with my husband will have to wait till at least June………….OMG June you say…………….well that’s when my MIL (mother-in-law) and her husband come to visit from the mainland……..Hubby and I ususally get to go out once a year………..pathetic I kow but I don’t know anybody that I truly trust with my kiddies…………….and they are my responsibility after all…….so to put it mildly I really can’t wait and even think of getting a hotel room for the night as well ………………I have to say I really miss the opportunities of getting to spend alone time with my husband…………….I cherish him so much but don’t always get a chance to show it cause we are always tending to the children……………..don’t get me wrong we love our children so much but alone time with your spouse is so incredible when you get the chance to do it……………it’s like going back to dating before we actually had children.

Which we never ever had cause we jumped right in a relationship where a newborn and pregnancy were the start of it……………but that is another story that I will have to share the next time I blog.  The story of my husband and I………..truly a princess/prince story……………well to us anyways…………….lol!!

 Anyway back to my topic……………..I have a tendancy to digress…………………

We had company over and I actually felt like an adult with adult conversations………………it’s strange but you never truly miss that until you don’t have it anymore……………..lol………….But to be quite honest the first time we had people over I felt so out of place and still kind of do to be honest……………..I felt that I had nothing in common with these people……………..they all had careers and love lives and two of them having a single life and neither one of them had children at all……………..and all I could think about was -Do I really have anything to talk about with these people- I mean one of the couples were just recently married and no children and one was a geological technician and the other an aircraft mechanic…………the other two were single but one was a mine technician and the other was a geologist like my husband - what could I possibly have in common with any of them?  After all I was a stay at home mother of three young children who has never worked in the career she had chosen to do and everything about my life at this point is about my children and only them……………I had no career to talk about, I had no experiences to talk about……………..I wasn’t a university graduate like the others and I certainly felt below them………………but why did I feel this way? Because I was a stay at home mother……………that’s silly…………..I just felt on a different playing field!!!  I did after all have schooling, and I did live on my own and experience living that way and worked to support myself and did a damn good job of it……………so why did I feel so in adequate?  Well I guess to me it was the fact that they didn’t have any children or discover the happiness I had with having my children and getting to stay at home to raise them……………..in reality no one was better than the other……………..we were all equal just in our own ways…………..!!!! 

But last night was our second get together with these people and I felt more like myself last night…………….I didn’t need alchohol to make me feel comfortable and I didn’t have to pretend to be somebody I wasn’t.  I was completely myself and still I was comfortable with that………….I showed that I could be just as smart and just as easily an adult like them even though I spend all my days with kids………….my hubby and I actually bet them in cranium………..lol………..we rocked!!  And I was actually think when was the next time we could get together………….it was nice and I’m glad we had found people to have over and relax with and have a good conversation with………and just enjoy being a couple without kids even though three of them were upstairs tucked in soundly in their beds!!!

Another reason I guess I kind of felt out of place because one of the women that was over last night is about my age maybe a year younger I think and she has asked my husband one day in conversation…………What does Lisa want to do?  Does she want to stay home all the time?  What else does she want to do with her life?  Does she just had you the kids when you come home?(of course my husband answers her the best he could and says no she doesn’t hand of the kids when I come home…………….which I don’t………after all if the kids need us, one of us will be there even if hubby is only home for 30 seconds and I’m doing something or with another one of the children).  When my husband told me that it made me feel so uncomfortable, so inadequate and so under everyone else………..but then I realized that she never knew my job, she never experienced my job before and she never seen that staying at home was a full time job that required no university education to fulfill the position!!  But yet it was the most rewarding ‘job’ experience that a women can have…………IMO of course!!

Last night even though we weren’t totally alone I still felt as close to my husband as if we were!!!

So off we go to the dentist today………………..not the first time but still it’s nerve racking for me………………..I am so afraid of the dentist but yet my profession is a dental assistant………………go figure!!!

My oldest DD has lost some teeth and have gotten back some teeth so I knew she would be fine but worried at the jaw teeth as some of those might not have been brushed that well…………..or so I was thinking………………but she did really well……….got them cleaned, got floride treatment and got the dentist to look at time with little to no effort to her………….which is really good cause she’s usually my nervous child who is always quite reluctant at doing anything that is new to her………………

Now our youngest daughter on the other hand……………..well what can I say she is after all only three and a bit so what else can you expect from a child at that age………….I mean really……………she doesn’t quite understand fully what the dentist is all about except for the fact taht he looks at her teeth…………..lol……………..but she did rather well……………she got her teeth cleaned and the hygeniest tried to floss but that was a no go…………..which really what can you expect from a three year old…………..floss her teeth, sure we are lucky if we can brush them most days……………..lol

Anyway she has what is classified as similar to bottle rot tooth decay…………..they know it’s decay but what it is caused by they are not sure……………under normal circumbstances our daughter would have had to have gone to bed with a bottle or juice all the time and have eaten lots of sweets and unhealthy food, etc but she doesn’t……………….we have followed the same protocol for her as we did with our other children and obviously our oldest doesn’t have teeth problems like this…………..she’s got a pretty princess smile according to the dentist……………lol

So then why do we have one child that has bad “weak” teeth???  This is so hard…………….we now have to wait for an appt with a ped. dentist in a city almost five hours away and then discuss further what needs to be done………….and our insurance will only pay 50% so we are talking a few hundred dollars to get it repaired until her adult teeth come in…………….or we can just yank them out……………….WHAT…………….no way………………after all they might not grow back for several years after all she is only three………….and it could affect her speech as well……………I don’t want to do that…………I’d rather pay the extra money to get them fixed rather than be abrassive and have them extracted…………oh dear!! I thought we weren’t going to have to pay for dental bills until a teenager and that was only to have simple restorations or braces……………lol………………but our daugher had other plans for our pocket book…………..lol……….I know it’s not her fault but man is paying so much is difficult for us right now………..trying to catch up on bills we had piled high from moving three times in the past years………..it’s been tough on us…………but our children come first and if we are behind on a bill or two so be it…………..oh well

Again another saga in being a king for day……………not feeling it so much today…………more like a peasant……….oh well……….our money days will come I’m sure but I’m sure we will be retired by then……….lol

Well it’s another day confined to my house……………….there is still snow up to the ying yang and now because it was half warm yesterday after some snowfall everything is pretty much ice……………….not a good place to be when you have kiddies……….so therefore I can’t go for a walk or even get out to take a deep breathe of the polluted air from the mill…………….lol………………I know I know but if the wind is blowing in the right direction that’s all I smell and it’s not very good……………anyhow I really want to get out.  Believe it or not I really want to exercise and get somewhat of a shape back to my body after having three kiddies in the past seven years………………

I have to say I am really unhappy about my body but not unhappy on how I got this way……………..I never thought that having children would be so tough on my body……………..I have packed on any easy 30 pounds since my first child…………even though after every child I’ve lost the weight I’ve gained throughout the pregnancy…………….I find food is my comfort and when I’m bored I eat……………..so being stuck in this house all winter well it hasn’t helped the figure let me tell ya………………

And really it’s my own fault for being stuck in here too cause I don’t drive…………….I am 28 yrs old and I don’t have my license……………..it never occured to me being a teenager that I should get them as we never ever had an extra car to drive anyway and forget about borrowing my Dad’s baby - which wasn’t me by the way………..lol - but rather a ‘75 cj Jeep - custom made by the one and only my Daddy……………….. and of course it’s a standard too so no way I was taking that baby out…………although I suppose I did dream once or twice about picking up some honey’s in it when I was about 17……………lol………………but still I didn’t have anything to drive so why was I going to spend money I didn’t have anyways to get my license only to have just sit in my wallet and be forgotten about!!  Which brings me back to me being stuck in the house my fault……………..I suppose if I got my license at least I could go the library or swimming with the kids……..but then again where I live they bus the students home for lunch…………….so I wouldn’t have much time to do anything anyways………….by the time I got the other two ready I’d have to start making dinner for my other daughter who would be home from school around noon and back to the bus stop for 12:30 ish…………….gotta love living in a small town………..

 Which brings me to my next topic of discussion……………….lol………………..my DH the geologist……………..I love him to pieces but his career has definately brought us to our highs and lows…………….and the reason for three moves in the past year from one side of the country to the other and now back again…………….and with kiddies and doggies in tow!!! It has definately been trying but I love him and our family and it is important for our family to be together so we did it together…………and our lastest move has landed us in a small town in Newfoundland……………….oh the joys…………….I mean don’t get me wrong I love Newfoundland I’m a born and raised newfie girl so I’m proud to be a Newfoundlander but I’m not happy with living in this small town that’s a complete dump!!  There is no gyms, no good shopping stores, no good swimming pools, not even a Shoppers Drug Mart…………….the nearest one is at least 2o mins away…………..It sucks not being able to go to places that I took for granted………..I miss the big city………………I’ve always lived in a big city………….First St. John’s then Calgary then Moncton and now here…………….all I got to say is that I’m looking forward to the mine closing………………and that’s at least another six years away………………what the heck am I going to do here for six years……………………puts so many questions in my head and little answers for them as well………………..

The questions that pop in my head are:

- By the time six years  come I’ll be wanting to back to school to upgrade my profession to get a better job and there are no schools that offer my course except for almost five hours away…………..

- How will I function if I’ve got to be confined to my house with no friends around me……………….again my friends are almost five hours away

- Will I ever hold all this on my husband because we moved for his job…………..to me in my mind it’s a no but really we’ve only been here 5 mths…………..ask me at the end of six years………………lol………….

- And do I really have to move again………………not that I want to stay here either but if I wanted to move around so much I would have joined the military….lol…..do I really have to uproot my children from school agian………….and this time they will be older and have more of a basis for friends and what not……………..will they hold it against us forever……………it’s such a dilema……………

- Will I ever find complete happiness when the kids go to school full time which will be in six years………………what will I do with my life…………….I’ve been a mother for so long that I don’t know how to be an individual who gets up and has a career everyday……………….how do I do that…………….will I want to do that……………….my husband says I can still stay home………….but will I want to…………….

Life is such a conflict sometimes and most of the time it’s only a conflict within ourselves………………..and with that being said I will end here……………….write more later……………..

Most days no but…………………. As I sit here unshowered and feeling all gross and the baby is sleeping and my pre-schooler is snacking and my oldest is in school……………….I’m wondering what I should actually be writing about instead of maybe getting a quick wash and clean up the dishes that are piled high on the counter but nahhhhhhhhhh I’m too excited cause I’d rather be blogging……………….lol!!!

 Let’s see I guess I should introduce myself……………..My name is Lisa and I am a SAHM of three cuties and they are my entire world.  I have been a part of CPO for a few years and have also taken on the task of being a moderator for the school-aged children ages 5-9 years old just recently. 

I have always wondered what is was that I do besides just be with the kiddies all day long but I realize that I am their mother, someone who nutures them, teaches them, deciplines them, feeds them, loves them and everything else in between……………..believe or not it took me a while to realize that only for the fact that I felt I wasn’t be recognized or felt the lack of accomplishment because I wasn’t getting the best support but now I have CPO and if it wasn’t for them I think I would be looney…………………lol!!  If anything it’s just someone to listen to me………………..or read me………..lol!!  I am also very crafty and have lots of liking for movies the outdoors and my family………….

Let’s see what else…………………..oh yeah I guess I should mention I have the best hubby ever……………….now somedays I’m upset with him because after all he does have some moments where he really doesn’t think of conscequences but it’s over little things but still a pain in the bum………………we have known each other for 17 years and have been best friends since we first met……………..he however felt a lot more of a connection to me and asked me out every year at least once a year but I always said no and even joked that I was going to end up marrying him…….like it was some disease or something……….lol…………blushes……………….and to be honest it was the best decision in my life……………..and there is no looking back……………..he is my angel and he’s my everything and vice versa………………he cherishes me and tells me everyday……………..I’m just a big ol’ sap so you’ll have to excuse the emotional side of me in my blog…………….lol!!

I’m sure I will be posting here a lot just to keep myself sane from living in a small town where I know absolutely nobody and hubby works Mon-Fri all day so……………………….so stay tuned with me if you want to feel like a king for a day with me………….