My cousin just had her first baby, an adorable girl named Claire Maeve.

It was discovered at an early ultra-sound that the baby was going to have a cleft lip. Although minor on the scale of things that can go wrong, it is still news that parents need to digest. The mama and papa (to-be) were amazing - they digested the news quickly, did their research, met with professionals and spent the rest of the pregnancy excitedly anticipating the arrival of the baby. This baby is definitely getting some family favourite status – she is the first grandchild on both sides, has loads of adoring aunts and uncles, and a handful of kids like mine all wanting a piece of her.

The day after Claire’s arrival, my three little ladies begged to go to the hospital for a visit. The new parents are good sports and confirmed they were up for some little visitors.

I had already prepped the girls about the cleft lip but thought I should do a quick refresher with them before heading over to the hospital to meet wee Claire. The highlights of the refresher course included information about what cleft lip is. I explained that her lip would look different to our baby’s lip and talked about the operation she would be having in the months to come. I knew they would worry that Claire’s lip would hurt, so assured them that Claire was in no pain at all.

Sounds like a fairly reasonable amount of information, wouldn’t you say? Well, apparently not. When we walked into the hospital room, the three girls ran over to the baby when one of them promptly gasped, grabbed my leg and said “why does her lip look like that?”

Are you kidding me? I went through that whole educational piece TWICE with the kid. I turned a slight shade of pink and gave a little smile to the new parents then went through the whole cleft lip explanation once again. The new parents were not even remotely fazed by the faux pas which is an early indicator that this parenthood stuff is going to come easily to them.

The third explanation did the trick then she immediately started fighting with her sisters over whose turn it was next to hold the baby. I guess the lesson here is that no matter how much you think you have prepped your kiddos, you just never know what they are going to blurt out. If embarrassing us is their job now, I look forward to the teenage years when the roles are reversed and embarrassing them becomes my job. I suspect I will find that new role quite fulfilling.

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Posted on August 10th, 2009 by juliecole
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As some of you know, my oldest kid has autism. We take this autism stuff pretty seriously and as a result he has made remarkable gains. Indeed, to the untrained eye he is indistinguishable from his neuro-typical peers.

Last weekend four of the kiddos did a triathlon. When “Number One Son” finished the running component too early, it was obvious he got confused somewhere along the way. Turns out he went around the wrong pylon cutting the run short.

That evening my 8-year-old daughter came into my office to have a chat about her brother:

Kid: “Why did he get confused in the run today?”
Me: “Well, there were no marshalls directing the kids so he went around the first pylon and came back.”
Kid: “What is his ‘diagnostics’? I heard talking about it at a meeting once.”
Me: “Was it the Autism Ontario meeting?”
Kid: “Yes”
Me: “Well, uh, autism. But he has worked pretty hard and kind of outgrown it.”
Kid: “Like I outgrew my milk allergy?”
Me: “Yes, kind of.”
Kid: “Does he still have autism?”
Me: “Do you think he does?”
Kid: “I think he still has it a little bit.”
Me: “Yeah, I think you’re right. Listen, I have not talked to him about it yet so you need to keep this private until I speak to him about autism.”
Kid: “no problem.”
Me: “Thanks for being such a cool kid.”
Kid: “you’re welcome. Can I have a cheese stick?”

Although I was shocked that the conversation happened, it’s actually kind of weird that it took so long to come up. I mean, we have an autism logo on our car, we do Cycle for Autism, hang out with people whose kids have autism, and participate in all kinds of activities within the autism community. Didn’t they ever wonder?

I got to wondering about their lack of wondering – do all the siblings and cousins know about his autism on some level but just not question it? Maybe it’s a kiddo case of “it is what it is”.

My mother often reminds us of the time she sat us down as children to discuss her sister, who has a mental disability. Mom first asked us if we knew anyone with a mental disability. We rhymed off the names of kids at school, a neighbour and other random people who did not actually have a mentally disability. The one name we didn’t say was that of our aunt, and this was an aunt we were close to and saw regularly. My mom always says that to us, our aunt was just herself – no title, label or explanation necessary.

I’ve been dreading the day when I have to “out” my son to himself. I’ve played the conversation in my head a thousand times. This incident got me thinking that maybe all this worry is for nothing - maybe he is just like his siblings and cousins and already knows and accepts his autism.

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Posted on July 20th, 2009 by juliecole
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One week down, eight more to go.

This week four of the kiddos were enrolled in a little tennis camp in the neighbourhood for two hours a day. The plan was that in those two hours I would have enough time to clear out my e-mail inbox, update my Facebook status, spend a few moments on twitter, read a couple of blog posts and run an errand. The rest of my day would belong to the kiddos.

It rained this week and while I don’t mean to carry on and complain about the rain, tennis camp gets cancelled at the first detection of a dark cloud. It’s a far cry from soccer night where parents are forced to shiver on the sidelines while cheering on their little players during a torrential downpour.

So the kiddos and I spent a decent chunk of time together this week - indoors. As our family has increased in size, I’ve noticed some changes in our actual house. The volume has increased so dramatically I’m convinced someone secretly installed invisible microphones into the walls. There seems to be a noise switch hidden somewhere that can never be turned off. I’ve also noticed some structural changes in our house - the foundations seem to be shrinking and the walls are closing in.

During the week I also had a chance to closer observe the strange and confusing relationship my kids have with each other. They are best friends and playmates while simultaneously teasing, bickering and generally annoying the crap out of each other. How do they manage all that love and torment at the same time without getting hurt or offended? Don’t these people know how to hold a grudge? Engaged couples should observe them for a lesson on how to be angry and then just let go of it. My guys don’t even seem to remember that they are in a conflict situation before they move onto the next activity together.

This summer will provide plenty of opportunity to observe the strange and unusual behaviour of my kiddos – I’m on maternity leave and other than a few half day camps, the kids are hanging with me. Since my house is kid-centric, “their” backyard is suited up with a pool, trampoline, swing set, sand pit, and even backs onto a park. No need to camp up when home feels like summer camp.

While I have already had moments thinking it’s going to be one long summer for mama, I’ll just keep my wits about me and have some fun surviving rainy days, bickering siblings and my ever shrinking house.

Posted on July 7th, 2009 by juliecole
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I’m never quite sure what to do about Father’s Day. Is it a time when daddy-o is supposed to spend the whole day bonding with his kid crew, or is it a day he should get a break from them?

After pondering the question for about five seconds, I decided to go with the bonding. Fact is, he spends a lot of time at work so doesn’t exactly need a ‘break’ from the kids. As such, I lined up a few dad and kid activities for the morning.

Breakfast in bed was not on the agenda, so the first activity was to send him off to his favourite greasy spoon with the three biggies followed by a trip to the golf store where he cashed in a gift certificate that was two-years-old. The rest of the day mostly involved daddy-o swimming in the backyard pool with the gang. Father’s Day is now wrapped up for another year.

Around here I feel that Mother’s Day should be treated a little differently to Father’s Day because of the difference in our parenting roles. The one fundamental difference is that I’m around the kiddos a helluva a lot and he is not. I need more bonding time with the kids about as much as I need a hole in the head. I like to celebrate Mother’s Day by having a few moments to myself - nothing drastic, maybe a sleep in until 8:00am and an hour in the afternoon. I don’t think that is too much to ask. Call it a double standard, but I don’t need to be surrounded by my peeps on my day, but daddy-o does on his day.

Years ago, on my second mother’s day, life was hectic as I was juggling Law School and two babies. I’ll never forget waking up on the morning on that Mother’s Day and daddy-o saying “I’m just going out for a couple of hours to do some Mother’s Day shopping”. Gulp. Do ya think maybe that should have been done during the week? My idea of Mother’s Day didn’t involve him going on a shopping excursion.

The rage that consumed me at the time makes it difficult to recollect or re-tell the story. All I know is that he gently threw me his wallet and car keys, grabbed the children and gently backed out of the room muttering phrases like “don’t rush back…..go for a coffee too….visit friends….buy whatever you like.” Again, the red I was seeing blurred my vision so this is just a vague recollection.

So here’s to every daddy-o out there. I hope the mamas spent the day doing exactly what I did - showing their great appreciation of you by providing you with opportunity to spend time with your lovely children!

Posted on June 22nd, 2009 by juliecole
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I was recently sitting around with my business partners chatting about our Mabel journey. We realized that over the last few years, the Mabel lifestyle has at times been a bit crazy. We have certainly found ourselves in some pretty wacky situations. So entertaining was the discussion, it’s worth sharing a few moments.

The Early Days:

- We were working out of a tiny basement making labels until 3:00am then going home to start the day with our kiddos at 6:00am. Oh, and three of the four of us were pregnant. You can understand why whenever we heard our friends complaining about being tired we’d quietly roll our eyes. Doing that first trimester fatigue on three hours sleep…..well, not our best days.

- We did everything ourselves, including licking the envelopes. Ellis and Cynthia licked so many one night, they almost vomited. We had flashbacks to George Costanza’s fiancé’s untimely death on Seinfeld, the direct result of envelope licking. We quite easily could have been a sit com, but the star roles were very unglamourous!

- One terrible night a printer broke. We went into action and quickly problem solved the situation - my mom was called in immediately. You see, she is a retired primary school teacher with very nice handwriting. She hand wrote the address on every order that evening.

- We once folded 5000 brochures by hand because we couldn’t afford the $100 folding fee.

- We paid our first web designer with a foosball table in lieu of cash.

Other Crazy Stuff:

- While at a Baby Show, Mumby fixed Sarah’s (savvymom.ca) BlackBerry with a bunch of Sticky Labels samples. When I saw Sarah six months later, she proudly showed me her BlackBerry – still being held together by Mabel’s Labels. We’ve seen some good customer hacks in our time but this takes the cake.

- After doing a recent Pirate themed Baby Show (yes, weird, we know), for days Mumby’s facebook status updates only said things like “a-hoy”, “errrr” and “eye matey”.

- I once became a ‘camping expert’ in less than a day after getting a request for such an expert to appear on Breakfast Television. I’ve never googled so much about any one topic before in my life.

- Mumby has been known to chit-chat with the editors from Penthouse while trying desperately attempting to come up with a PR angle.

- Mumby has been seen walking around Chicago with Oprah labels, just in case she ran into Oprah.

- Cynthia and I once drove for six hours for a four minute TV spot, only to then turn around and drive home.

- We once sent a box of brochures off to a camp then found out that a camel arrived instead of our brochures. Yes, a camel. We still have no idea who intercepted the package, but this is the stuff Mabel legends are made of. The camp even forwarded us the picture of the camel, which arrived with a Mabel magnet attached to it! Full story here: http://www.mabel.ca/wordpress/?p=252.

And just when we thought we’d done it all and seen it all, last week Ellis and I somehow ended up modelling in a mama fashion show. Uh, you remember that I’m five weeks out of my sixth c-section, right? Well clearly I forgot that fact when I agreed to strut my mama stuff. Three words: pass the Spanx!

So from the dark and dreary corners of a basement to the catwalk, I can only imagine the weird and wonderful places Mabel will take us in the next few years!

Posted on June 8th, 2009 by juliecole
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