I was miraculously alone in my car the other day tuned into CBC, hoping to catch the dreamy voice of long- time crush, Jian Ghomeshi.

Being interviewed was Shane Earle, Mount Cashel Orphanage survivor. Something he said really resonated with me: the way we live each day as an adult is a constant reaction to how we were treated as a child.

That really spoke to me – although the majority of our years are spent as an adult, those childhood years are with us always. We carry those around with us day in and day out. Sadly, the weight of those years can be very heavy for some people.

I want the weight of their childhood years to be very light for my adult children. It got me to thinking – how am I treating my children to contribute to them being at peace as adults? I started a mental list and will share two simple ways that I think are significant. They are both little things that I hope make my kids feel like they are the top dogs in my life. Here are my two bits of advice:

1) Be excited to see them.
Whether the kids are walking in from school or I’m picking them up from Cubs, I always look ridiculously excited to see them. Sometimes I have to fake it – sometimes I wish they were gone for another hour, but they don’t need to know that. I vividly remember my own mom’s face every time we came home from school. She looked as though she was eagerly waiting to be re-united with us. Man, it made me feel good.

2) Don’t be late picking them up.
It is a very rare occasion that I would be even a couple of minutes late to pick up my kids. I feel like being late is sending them a message: I was so preoccupied with my work or other activity that I forgot about you. Being on time tells them that they are my first priority.

Sure, they are small, but as a child those things made me feel really valued. And as Shane Earle said, how we are treated as a child has a tremendous impact on our adult lives. I hope those little things will give them confidence and they will go into adulthood knowing their worth.

So, how do you treat your kiddos? What tips and tricks do you have to help lighten the load for your adult children?

Posted on October 13th, 2009 by juliecole
Filed under: Uncategorized