I feel as though I’ll fit right in. Running about like a maniac – last minutes costume touches, groceries for the night, party supplies prepared at-the-ready (work requirement), laundry so there is clean gitch to even put on under the costume, tidying the front foyer for those intrusive neighbours who step-inside-for-candy, etc, etc has me wishing to clutch my hair in both hands at the root and run hell-bent down the street while screaming and/or drooling with a glazed non-sugar-induced look in my eye! People, I hope, will just assume I’m putting on a show for Halloween night and not be fully aware that I have, in fact, lost my mind…

Happy Halloween everyone.

Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
Banana…

Some of the happiest and most memorable times I’ve spent with my daughter are those in which we’ve been laughing – over the crazy, little, silly things that fill up our day – like, bum quacks and pizza beards. I grew up in a family in which my father’s side of the family were all jokesters – loving a good egg-on-the-face, twist-of-the-words laugh and I hold many fond memories of get-togethers with them. I also remember reaching an age in which I not only laughed at their quips but began to experiment with throwing a few of my own back at them and receiving a laugh in return. I was so happy and proud of myself for causing a laugh!!

This joviality only grew as I did and I learned to enjoy spreading a laugh to my friends, to my teachers and, truthfully, for myself. The world seemed a lighter place if I could find the humour in it. This foundation served me very well when, as a young adult, I entered into the field of Child & Youth Work – working directly with some very behaviourally challenging teens. When there were many an escalating situation, there were times that I could successfully diffuse it with a fun retort or observation. I’m also certain that humour is a large part of why my husband married me – I’ll let you draw your own conclusions to that statement.

Now I find myself as a weary parent of a three-year old daughter who has been witty even before she had expressive language. I recall a day very clearly when she was an infant and nursing on the breast. Often, when nursing, I found myself simply watching her – observing her expressions, and noting every single little body part – ‘what an adorable little ear’, ‘look how she hugs in real close’, ‘can you believe how big her feet are?’ In developing this habit of staring while she ate, I hadn’t realized that she’d grown accustomed to being observed and one day, my attention drifted away from her cozied form and began gazing around the room instead. Didn’t I hear a little ‘humph’ and I looked down to her to see her smile and squirm with glee for having successfully called my attention back to her! Too funny! She was used to being observed and I laughed out loud when I realized what she’d done – this only caused further smiles and squirms from her in response. Well, I’ll be darned – my infant has a sense of humour!!

In my daughter’s toddler years, I must admit, humour was often lost on her. For example, the term “bum quack” came from a rather duck-like sound discharged from her posterior – I laughed and said that sounded like a bum quack. Didn’t she immediately turn around with a look of terror! She thought there was a duck behind her! I did not wish to terrify my daughter, but I had to laugh even harder and I continued to use the term ‘bum quack’ with all future incidents of toddler flatulence and I’m pleased to say it’s paid off. Quincy can ever so gently break wind and chuckle with “excuse me, I quacked’ and honestly, this is a lot less embarrassing in the grocery store than other obvious statements.

Now, let’s leave the inconsequential and move into the – how-does-this-help-me-as-a-parent realm. As she moved headstrong into her preschool years her fierce sense of independence and pride developed much more. It became beneficial to give or, quite honestly, take a time out for certain challenging situations. What I found though, in doing so, is that my daughter inherited equal portions of stubborn from both my husband and myself – poor tart. This could make a time out both lengthy and tedious. Enter humour. Once the angst has safely passed and your tot is now sitting there simply out of spite, humour can be a very cathartic and healing quality to move the situation forward from frustrating to memorable. An example from my very own home – Quincy (and I) take a time out on the bottom step as it is visible from all angles but far enough away from stimulus as to prove effective. She has spent at least 3 times the necessary beneficial time on the step but was unwilling to move past her pride and return to any other fun task. I didn’t wish to make it another power struggle and I’d rather simply move into our chat about “what was that all about anyway?” Well, the cat sauntered into the room and I promptly disguised my voice into a rather mickey mouse sounding likeness and asked “Quincy, I’m tired and my kitty bones ache, can I have my step back? I’d like to rest there” as though our cat was making a personal request. Quincy looked at the cat, then looked at me – was that a smirk I saw? I didn’t stick around to find out as I sensed her pride would have won out and she’d replace the smirk with an almighty frown if I paid it too much attention. My use of humour and my respect for her pride allowed for her to take a moment to enjoy the joke, then rise from the step unprompted and join me in the kitchen chirping in her own mickey mouse voice “could I have a drink, my kitty mouth is dry” and we proceeded to play-cat throughout dinner prep – a day that I continue to remember fondly.

Parents, I implore you to take a moment and crack a joke with your tots. At the end of our day, we’ll remember those moments best and be able to overlook all the other moments in which we were red-faced and frustrated. Your little one may also learn methods in which s/he might manage her own life frustrations or stresses a little better – whenever possible laugh it off! I know when life hands me lemons, I try to bite in and make a funny face…and that has made all the difference.

PS. Pizza Beard Definition – when you have inadvertently left a piece of your pizza slice on your chin. Most humorous when you are completely unaware of it.

Share a story of your own family fun - either as a comment below or submit your own story to blogentry@gingerbreadlane.ca and we’ll post it here

Can you picture yourself in an apron? Or perhaps, dusted lightly with flour or cocoa? Whatever the outcome, it’s fun baking / cooking with your kids and it sets the stage for helpful tots in the kitchen if they are made comfortable and confident now. No pressure! I speak from a kitchen-resistant background - I really do cook out of necessity versus a desire to create from scratch any culinary delight. In order to make anything even remotely edible, I use recipes…love ‘em…would be doubled over in gastric agony without ‘em…

So, I found this sight for kids recipes that I think is pretty grand - Kids Health, Recipes for Kids

and one such recipe enjoyed from here which also made for a slow-paced and thoroughly engrossing Saturday morning with my daughter was the Blueberry Pancakes. Recipe seen below:

Blueberry Pancakes (Home Made)
Prep time: about 20 minutes

Ingredients:

* 3/4 c. flour
* 1 tbsp. sugar
* 1 tsp. baking powder
* 1/2 tsp. salt
* 1 tbsp. margarine
* 1 egg
* 3/4 c. milk
* 1/2 c. blueberries, washed and drained
* extra margarine for the pan

Utensils:

* stove

* large bowl
* mixing spoon
* saucepan
* medium-size bowl
* whisk
* measuring cups and spoons
* spatula

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Set the bowl aside.
2. Melt the margarine in a small saucepan.
3. Crack the egg into a medium-size bowl, then add the milk and melted margarine.
4. Whisk until everything is well mixed.
5. Add the flour mixture to the egg mixture. Whisk again until both mixtures are blended together.
6. Put extra margarine in the saucepan and heat it on the stovetop on medium heat. It is hot enough when the margarine starts to bubble.
7. Use a measuring cup or a small ladle to spoon the batter into the pan. Put some blueberries on top of each pancake.
8. Cook your pancakes on medium heat until small bubbles appear on the top.
9. Use a spatula to see when your pancakes are light brown on the bottom. When they are, flip them over with the spatula.
10. Cook for another few minutes until the pancakes are light brown on the other side.
11. Remove your pancakes and put them on plates to enjoy!

Serves: 2

Serving size: 3 or 4 medium pancakes

Please note, that this will leave your kitchen an absolute disaster and it’s advised that you save your daily shower until after - you’ve made the pancakes. Don’t be deterred - the best kind of fun always has a light dusting of flour…

Did you try this recipe or have one of your own?  Send to blogentry@gingerbreadlane.ca and I’ll post it or leave a comment below - I’d even love to see some before pancake making and after pancake making pictures of your kitchen!

I just stepped on a marble as I was walking across the floor and I’m not sure if it’s one that my daughter left behind or, perhaps, one of the few remaining ones lost from my own head. Either way, I picked it up and put in my pocket. You can never be too safe.

What!? What??? Does this imply good news? A great surprise? A sick sense of self-loathing..?? Close that thought - wipe your mind clear of any preconceived notions - and consider this. I miss the period at the end of my sentences.

What?! This woman’s ticking nuts - what the pink twill does she mean?

I waited a long time for my toddler to talk. At least it felt like a long time because she came out of the womb frustrated that she didn’t have full expressive language! Until she could begin to express herself verbally she was a wailing, screaming dervish and once she began to articulate words, her dervish dropped off significantly and a collective breath of relief passed through our household instead.
Throughout this extended phase, a number of veteran parents would say - “first you are praying for them to talk, then you are praying for them to be quiet”. Yes, indeed.

Now, my daughter is a toddler - in fact, moving into her “preschool” years and her chatter is welcome but incessant. There are whole days in which I’ve not heard the end of a single sentence that I’ve started - and I miss my period. I would find that punctuation-of-pause a relief - “yeah, a finished thought!” My daughter’s mind, and now her mouth, runs from thought to thought enthusiastically and it’s not so much about the individual thought itself but more about the opportunity to explore so many thoughts in toddler “real time”. “Toddler real time” is - for every one adult second, there are 4.2 toddler seconds and for each toddler second there is an independent and unique thought. Within our one second or one effort to speak or respond, our toddler is already onto another thought - or 4.2 several. We are left with our mouth hanging open or our tongue bit in frustration and a slightly louder voice with our next barely-there response. Sigh…

It’s fun to sit back and simply watch our little one’s brain at work…wow!! Slow down!! Child, you’re going to self-destruct with the infinite possibilities playing tennis in your head! In the meantime parents, know that you will (eventually) and with great patience and repeat interuptions, teach your child social graces - like allowing a person to finish their sentence - period!

Know what I mean? Leave a comment below - I won’t interrupt I promise.

I’m wondering if that is actually my own drooping eye-bags that I feel resting against my cheeks…

It’s been a busy two weeks - along with all the normal “crazy-ness”, I’m wondering where I’ll find a moment to recover some of my waning energies. Each day feels as though I am beginning a packed-full day on a half-full tank. It is not a complaint - I lead a full and productive life. I am merely pondering - as my lower eyelids rest comfortably on my face - what can I cram into an already busy lifestyle that is purely self-indulgent. A hobby perhaps…

It’s got me thinking - why not think something so simple as a hobby to death - that I wonder what other people do for fun, to unwind, or to give yourself a moment (or several) of simple pleasure.

Do you scrapbook?

Enjoy a glass of wine?

A nice cup of tea?

A jog?

Some rock wall climbing?

Read a good book?

Catch up on some blogs?

My mind literally becomes overwhelmed with possibilities and I’m left unmotivated to start any one of them…where would I begin? I’m seeking a way to form a new habit that is purely meant to sooth and nurture my spirit, so I can appreciate this life’s journey a little more - feel like I have a say in it rather than feel that I’m being pushed around by it. How do you begin a new hobby? Give me some ideas…

I’m a firm believer (read previous posts) that breaking tasks down into simple steps is an easy way to get things done - without excuses that “there’s no time!”. But I need some inspiration so I ask you - the reader - this…

1) what can you suggest as indulgent hobbies? something you’ve enjoyed or, perhaps, something you’ve always been curious to try?

2) what has stopped you from finding and participating in a hobby?

3) what advise would you give me to get started?

I’d like to see your comments. This could be a grand starting point as a motivational tool in all of our crazy, overworked lives!

I gently push my saggy eyelids back into their rightful place, take a deep affirming breath and click “post”…

Now, I believe in getting my life organized in small reasonable chunks. In fact, I have learned this method through years (and years and years) of watching my mother, myself and most friends that I know, experience intense and heart-pounding moments (ney, days) of frustrations because we “can’t get it all done”, “can’t get caught up”, “can’t get enough help”, “can’t ________(you place your own complaint)”. We can go for years, perhaps our entire lifetime, of not realizing that it’s not, in fact, the time/help/circumstance factor that is causing such chaos and disorder in our lives - it is only us. Yes, you. Know that this is no criticism - I don’t believe in kicking someone when they’re down - it is meant to be the pep talk that I think we’ve all needed at some point in our lives - as we weep over the mountain of laundry that appears to clone itself, as we curse over the piled up bills that won’t file themselves and as we wail to any victim passing within earshot and yet unable to hear. My suggestion, as it pertains to the transition from sandals to socks is this - don’t go into the closet believing that the closet needs to be “cleaned up”, that the winter clothes shopping needs to be done ‘right now!” (save that as a reward for later) and that the bag of donations must be delivered today or the poor sods will freeze - otherwise, this simple transition has already taken on astronomical proportions and your heart rate has already gone up in a non-positive fashion. Busy families can grab 5 minutes at a time, at best, so work with that…

Enter the sock drawer and purge. I am laughing out loud as I realize I knowingly wore mismatched socks last year. A charcoal gray and a light gray pair each lost their respective partners but I said to myself “there’s still plenty of wear left in these close friends” and I kept the darn things. With a summer’s worth of distance between myself and that stupid decision I can now enter my drawer, locate the not-quite-right pair and toss ‘em. But don’t stop there - bring the garbage can with you - purge the unsightly, holed, mismatched socks from each drawer in your home. It shouldn’t take you more than 5 minutes if you keep yourself focused. Don’t even think about opening the t-shirt drawers or, heaven forbid, your undies. Keep your eyes on your feet and plod on…

When you are finished, walk away - know that you have completed a part of the seasons preparatory tasks in a very reasonable time frame.

Break each step of this foot-garnishing ritual into 5-minute challenges. Get the kid(s) involved (if it will help the process rather than hinder it). Set a timer to add extra motivation to keeping it to five minutes and whether the task is done or not, walk away when the timer dings. I enjoy a favourite song rather than a timer because I find myself singing / dancing along and quite enjoying the moment - I walk away when the song is done. If you hit ‘repeat’ on the stereo, consider that you may have an obsessive-compulsive flaw and should possibly seek professional help.

Suggested 5-minute challenges to get the ‘big task’ done:
* Empty current closet of all summer wear discarding those too-worn sandals (please don’t make me look at them again next year - are you trying to evoke pity from friends?) and keeping the in-good-shape ones in the closet still (gotta wear something until you pull warm shoes out, right?
* When you are next out on errands and anywhere near a clothing retailer (ex. getting diapers at Walmart) then swing around and pick up the socks that you need for the family. Don’t get distracted - this is only supposed to add five minutes to your errand.
* Pull out warm footwear and purge too-ratty pairs from each member of the family - make mental note of what needs to be replaced. Give a vacuum or a sweep from their seasonally ignored location.
* When it is now consistently too chilly to hang onto the sandals, grab a laundry basket, pile the summer gear into it and dump about 2 feet away from the winter gears home. Transfer the winter gear into the basket, play a game of toss and match in that deep-closet location with the summer stuff and take the basket of the winter stuff to the most active closet and deposit it. Unless, your family is vigilant about lining things up (again, consider professional help) leave the darn things in a reasonable pile. There is a good chance that is the same pile you will see - and successfully retrieve - your own shoes from for the upcoming season and everyone else seems to do just fine too. Really, you must pick your battles and learn to let the small things go…

For the sake of variety in a day, you can incorporate a couple five-minute challenges from different parts of your home - winter clothes, packing away the outdoor furniture, clearing out the no-longer-used toys, etc so that you feel as though you are making progress in a few areas. As long as progress is made, stop beating yourself up over your unreasonable desire to get-it-all-done. Recognize your strengths - that you are attending to everything in an organized and do-able fashion - pat yourself on the back for that success and grab a coffee.

Send your sock drawer pictures to blogentry@gingerbreadlane.ca or post a comment below - and why not send in your own 5-minute challenge idea?

Laundry – feel like a slave to it?

I’ve felt that my weekends have been consumed with laundry as I try desperately to see the bottom-of-the-basket if only for a sense of relief or “catch up”! Underneath this desperation is a low-grade anxiety and low-simmering resentment. I’d rather be outside. I’d rather be spending time with my daughter in a fun way. I’d rather be getting a root canal…

Having a child did NOT decrease the load – figuratively or literally – and rather than yelling at my toddler for being so messy (I’m a realist, and I realize they are messy!) I’d often turn my angst either overtly or passively against my spouse. Clean your own eff-in’ socks! Put your own freakin’ clothes away man! I’m not YOUR mother! To be fair, we have a reasonably equitable distribution of household tasks and the laundry is mine by choice. All the same, I feel like laundry’s b&%# and I’ve yet to see the bottom of the d*^$@ basket!

Insert deep sigh here

I’ve developed, through no long term planning but entirely by fluke, a system that seems to be working and I thought I’d share it. Here it is in a few shorts steps:

a) DON’T do laundry on the weekends. You really need to commit to this – NO LAUNDRY ON WEEKENDS! The absolute only task for weekends is to ensure that all dirty laundry is gathered into laundry baskets. These said baskets can remained wherever they are stationed – in the closet, in the hall, in the way…

b) Starting Monday morning – bring the laundry baskets to your laundry room/area and dump. Sort into darks / lights piles and put first load into the washer to wash. Now, get on with your day – don’t look back – the laundry is not going anywhere and it will happily wait for your return later today.

c) Now, whether you are a working-outside-the-home mom or a working-inside-the-home mom you each have something (many somethings!) that seems to require all of your attention and most, if not all, of your minutes throughout the day. Attend to that stuff. At the end of that day – before you begin whatever you’ve planned for dinner – return to the laundry site and pop the washed (and patiently waiting) load of wet laundry into the dryer. Now walk away again…

d) After you’ve settled for the evening – kids are tucked in, house is quiet – fold that load, sorting into appropriate piles. You don’t have to put it away tonight. It can wait until the folded piles get a little higher and then you’re not packing away folded laundry over and over and over.

e) Next morning, repeat by putting next load into the washing machine – and walk away –

f) Your loads will very likely run out before the end of your week arrives. As part of the final efforts – when there’s no further loads in the morning or no further loads to fold, use the next step to put it all away at once and return the baskets to their stations. Now, the weekend is around the corner – commit to NO LAUNDRY – and get outside, spend some time fun time with you kid(s), book that root canal…

Random Tips:

• ensure you have more than enough laundry baskets. Nothing makes you feel like you MUST DO LAUNDRY when your one and a half baskets are full and you’re only on Tuesday. Get a 3rd, 4th or 5th basket – it’s worth the investment.

• Ensure you have enough underwear and socks to last 8 days. Nothing precipitates a resentment-filled laundry frenzy than an absolute need to good personal hygiene. Don’t stress, be realistic and allow yourself a week’s worth of clean gitch without the bitter resentment.

• Pay attention to laundry habits of your housemates and ask, without fingers wagging, for changes where it is appropriate. For example, I noticed that my hubby would remove his pj pants and tshirt and dump both in the dirty pile each day. Could he get another night (or two) wear out of the pants? Or, perhaps, the jeans that he wore that day are still in reasonable shape for another wear before laundering. Ask him to be more conscious of those things. He’s often asked “what can I do to help decrease your stress?” well, my dear, this is one small thing you can. How about the kid. How many outfits are worn / changed in a day? Did it all really need to be tossed in the laundry in exchange for spotless garb or could that tshirt from this morning with the spot of chocolate pudding on the front also be happily worn through the manic crafting session this afternoon also? Frankly, I think a splotch of pudding and a dollop of glitter could be considered ‘artistic’ and a healthy means of accounting for the days activities visually.

• Take a look – an honest I’m-not-making-excuses look – at your own compulsions. What has you determined – without success – to do it, do it, do it?? Really, does the stress feel good? Are you willing to let it go?

Get you thinking a new system for your house / life? I found it reiterated here: http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyLaundry3.asp

Leave a comment – I’d love to hear from you!