Are we spoiling our kids?
12:43 pm April 30th, 2008The other day my kids, 7 and 10, offered me a deal. They said they didn’t want to go to the Science Centre on Sunday, and that if I took them to a local toy store instead, it would cost less and they would be happier. I suspected my son, the older of the two, had convinced his little sister to go along with the plan.
At the time I thought it was pretty cute and clever, so I agreed. I rationalized it to myself as a lesson in taking some initiative, having fun and “thinking outside of the box”.
It occurred to me later though that I wasn’t teaching them about innovation, I was perpetuating the myth that material gain equals happiness. “Who is the parent here?” I asked myself.
In retrospect I should have told them that the plans for going to the Science Centre were already made and taken them anyway. Of course they would have had fun once they got there. And once they got caught up in that fun the toy store would be forgotten.
The momentary urge to spend money on a toy, have something new, passed shortly after we got home. No lasting memories or amazing new facts learned, no photos to refer to later. Just two kids who got their way despite the fact “their way” was based on the wrong message.
Are we spoiling our kids? We take protection to new extremes to guard against even the most remote chance of injury. They get “stuff” but no substance. They have everything I never had as a child including their Father’s full and undivided attention, yet I don’t think they’re learning to place value in friends, family and experiences.
So how do I teach my children the most important lessons, when they are bombarded my all of the wrong messages every day from every media?
How do I mitigate the constant temptation to spend, spend, spend with all of the corporations promising happiness if they do?
As much as I speak with them about caring more about people than things, let them attend a Sunday school which promotes messages of empathy and compassion, take time to engage them in play at the park and activities at home, it seems a losing battle.
