On a swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
On a toboggan: Beware: sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions…(Isn’t that what we aimed for as kids)
On shin pads for cyclists: Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not protect..(I’m trying to think where else you’d put a shin guard…and why?)
In a microwave oven manual: Do not use for drying pets…(i once adopted a microwaved cat..he was fine, although he always looked like he’d had too much Catnip)
On a portable stroller: Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage…(What?!?)
On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use…(but wouldn’t it be fun to see)
On Harry Potters wizard broom: This broom does not actually fly… (Dammit)
In a kettle Instruction manual: The appliance is switched on by setting the ON/OFF button to the ON position…(Just in case you didn’t know)
Emergancy safety procedures @ a summer camp: In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly…
In the instructions for an electric thermometer: Do not use orally after using rectally…(one would hope you wouldn’t have this urge)
And my Favorite: On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly…. My Older brother learned this lesson the hard way…After breaking his leg trying to “Fly” off the kitchen table in his Superman Pj’s.
