First time moms
Don’t you just love first time moms? They are so innocent, so totally convinced of their own abilities.
Three pregnancies and three kids later, I am totally convinced that I was a better mother before I had kids.
Faced with a first timer, I am tempted (and have given into the temptation) to just burst that bubble. I launch into stories about child-birth and the paaaaaaaain. I talk about the puke, the poop, the sleepless nights, breastfeeding, and anything else that would make your ovaries shrive and die. Try as I may, there are just some times when I cannot resist. Of course I try do this with an indulgent smile as I either rub the baby-bump or hold the newborn.
I find I miss the new-born smell, surprising since there was a point where the sight of a pregnant woman would make the nauseous. However now, since I have had my tubes tied, I just have the urge to point and yell “sucker”. I don’t actually do that (anymore and never to strangers) , no matter how overwhelming the urge. I also do not say “you ain’t seen nothing yet, baby” when pregnant friends complain about having to go to the bathroom all the time. You better enjoy the alone time now because you will never alone again.
So to all the moms you were puked on, peed on, spit-up on and to the dads who think we are beautiful anyway, have a good day.
