On my way to Mother Hood

We had our second prenatal class tonight and I found it both informative and a little scary. Watching all those pregnancy videos with the women in labor really gives you a scare of what labor is really going to be like.Somebody should have showed me that video before we got pregnant lol.

Our birth educator seems to be a bit biased to the whole midwife thing and since we are having a natural child birth with a midwife ( or planning one anyways this works for us!).  We have also decided to go with a homebirth ( after lots of reserach and a homebirth education night) and to be perfectly honest with you I am so happy with my choice, The more I hear about how horrific a hospital birth is the less I want one so I am going to do everything in my power to ensure my homebirth plan works for me, my Hubby and our little Ila Bee.

So we are getting down to the wire 30 weeks pregnant and feeling huge! and my last day of work is right around the corner ( 2 days left in fact!) I am so excited I know there will be times when I am bored but I have so much to do to prep for Ila that I am sure all the time will fly by.

I didn’t realize how much I missed blogging and putting my feelings on “paper”

Anyways off to bed it’s so late!

Annie

Well, its been a really long time since I wrote anything mostly because looking back at my early posts I couldn’t think of anything else to write about until I got pregnant.

So this is how the last 7 months since I wrote have looked like:

September:

10 days since my last post I became preggies.On September 18th my monthly friend didn’t come and I was curious and then I waited and waited and waited and finally 3 days and 2 pregnancy test later we were preggies. We went to the doctore and sure enough we are pregnant due May 29th.It turns out that we were 6 weeks preggies at that point and I was thrilled and so was Hubby.

October:

Went to the doctor again to get the blood test results and we told our family which were all very happy for us. Dr P gave us the IPS test requisitions and we decided not  to have it as whatever god gave us we will have to be happy with.

November:

At 10 weeks 4 days we had our first ultrasound although I went with my Mom to the ultrasound because my dear Hubby was in France I got to see my little beanie and I was thrilled to see a healthy baby. Our first baby pics immediatly went on the fridge and were e-mailed to all the relatives.

I bought my first baby item this weekend, a little green teddy bear bunting bag.

We met our midwife for the first time and tried to absord the massive amounts of information which they provide you with on your first visit.

December:

Our preggo christmas. We got lots of beautiful baby things and we enjoyed what would be our last christmas as two before our little one comes.Went to the midwife and heard our babies heartbeat for the first time, what a miracle.

January:

We found out our baby is a girl!!! ( which I am so thrilled , I would have been happy either way but a little girl is a dream come true). On Jan 9th the ultrasound tech gave me a smile and said she didn’t see any little boy parts.My mom immediatly went and bought every little pink item she could locate.I infact bought a beautiful little lady bug dress that day as well.

February:

We bought our crib and again to our midwife whereI have gained 11 pounds and my belly was measuring 26 cm and at 27 weeks this is perfectly normal.

March:

This is such a busy month, with prenatal classes and massage therapy and starting mat leave everything is so exciting I can’t wait! My anxiety disorder is forcing me to take my holidays and then go on sick leave but I am at peace with it and I think it will be good for me. Apprently it will disappate once my Ila is born so thats a blessing too.

Well thats just a short explanation of 7 months of my pregnancy.

My dream come true is almost here and I can’t wait.

Annie

Hey All!,

So after some long and hard consideration and a devastating period from hell last month( which consisted of vomitting,constipation,grouchiness,cramps to make a man of steel cry and 3 days with no sleep) I have decided that people on here really know what they are talking about, so hubby and I are playing it cool.

After nothing last month we are taking a casual approach, trying ever other day and it’s not planned but spontaneous. I have stopped asking are you ready to try. And to be honest I have never felt so relaxed for a long time.

We took all the pressue away and we are just enjoying the ride. It seems that we are both so much more happier than before and my love for my Hubby grows every day ” Je taime come douze balaine blue qui peux etre mange par 144 Orca” is what we say after seeing a special on the discover channel about the eating habits of Orca whales.

I am losing weight like crazy( in a totally weight watchers healthy way) and feeling so good about myself. Everything is fabu.

This weekend we are going to buy some paint and start painting the ” Babies Room” so my bro in law can come and start his college project which is a huge mural on the babies room wall. I know it’s a little soon and there isn’t a baby but the kid needs to do his project and I am happy to give him a space to do it.

On a very happy note my girl friend had a beautiful healthy baby boy this weekend. I cannot wait to see him in a couple of weeks.

Oh well thats all I have to say for now.

TTFN

Hello All,

thanks to all who replied to my last post. I am sad to say my friendship with my best friend is on a hiatus at the moment.

I wasn’t feeling all that well today. I had this unusual back ache and I was just feeling crummy. I knew my period was due on Sunday but keeping with positive thoughts of babydust I pushed it to the back of my mind. However when I got home and settled down for some serious internet surfing recipies for cornflake chicken ( if anyone knows a recipe I am all ears!) I noticed this dull ache in my lower belly. Sure enough about 6 o’clock I went to the washroom and there it was my monthly unwelcome visitor. Tears soon there followed and with lots of kleenexes and some kind words my Husband he managed to  coaxed me out of our closet ( where I go when I cry not to embarass myself) and he assured me that this would take time and there is nothing infact wrong with me.

I know all women out there who are trying for a baby feel disappointment when their monthly visitor comes but, I feel totally down about it. I cannot figure out what is going on ( I mean we did everything the experts recommend).

Oh well so here begins cycle day one and I am miserable not only am I crampy and feeling sick to my stomach I have a house full of people coming this weekend ( Nanny and Grandpa tomorrow and then my Mother in law and Father in Law for tea on Sunday) I will need to clean top to bottom and be all hostess like and that is the last thing I want to do. All I really want to do this weekend is hang out in my jammies and maybe go to Wal-Mart for some wool.

Anybody have any suggestions on how to beat the ” I am trying for a baby but got my period funk”? Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

Thanks for listening!

Hello,

Thanks to you who answered my last blog!

Let me start out by saying the fabric land adventure purchase was a total disaster that involved 1 hour of bobbin fiddling along with patching a hole and countless  seam rippings. The blanket I made turned out ok but in exchange for supper at my house my Nanny ( fancy name for Grandma) is going to come and do the other for me with me also giving my word never to touch the sewing machine again and sticking to making crochet blankets!

Recently I wrote about my best friend who was pregnant well she called me yesterday and said ” I lied to you?!” I said ” Oh really about what?” ” I am not pregnant” I was totally shocked. It turns out since she discovered I was trying to get preggies she felt as if she had to beat me to the game. Apprently because I got married first and I am younger she feels the need to try to get pregnant first. I told her that even though I am now hurt again ( after just getting over her whole pregnant lie in the first place) she shouldn’t feel like life events are a competition and she should just try to live her own life and follow her own rainbow and not to feel like her life has to be the same as mine.

To be honest  feel a little relieved. I was feeling stressed that she was pregnant before me and 2 other of my friends are pregnant too so her not being pregnant takes a huge load off. But I am also hurt by the whole thing. Why lie about something like this!

 Thanks for listening! 

Tonight I went out to Fabricland to get a patch for my duvet cover and something led me to the baby fabric ( I am a craft junky too i think and can’t resist super cute baby fabrics lol) I bought two panels for baby quilts and I am sitting on my couch crying because I know that I will quite possibly not be pregnant!

8 days till I can offically take the big test and I am so nervous and stressing. I honestly don’t think I can stand a negative test. I will be devastated. I want a baby so badly. Everyone around me is pregnant and happy and yet even with all the amazing things happening in my life ( super wonderful job, great Hubby and adoring family) I still feel like something is missing.

This weekend my Dude in Law came to visit us over night and we had such a great visit with him. Then he started talking about a grand baby and how excited he was that there is a chance and at the very moment my eyes filled with tears and I lost it.

I don’t know what I will do if I am not pregnant. It’s all i can think about. I keep looking for signs that I might be pregnant like well I won’t elaborate on anything but all you ladies know the feeling. My Husband tries his hardest but the other day he said something that upset me and made me feel worse about the whole thing” If we don’t get pregnant after all that then there is something wrong with us” so this begs the huge question:

Is there something wrong with me? Am I going to be a barren women? Am I never going to have a baby? Can I still be me without any hope of being a mom?

Do you see why I am stressing here!

Someone please help me lol Does anybody have any ideas on sure fire ways to get preggies? I know it’s hit and miss but I don’t think i could stand missing on this one.

Thanks to everyone for listening It means more than you know.

Well my husband in an effort to make me feel better about my whole best friend thing bought me a baby name book and told me to look through and jot down some names for our baby. It was so sweet of him to try to distract me. All I can think about is getting ready to try for a baby. 

Ok so anyways I am looking for a name. We managed to jot down some ideas and it was kind of exciting.

I am now filled with tons of hope for the future. Maybe this will be our lucky month.

My Husband is really excited. All he can think about is the baby and what having the baby will be like and how he is excited about being a Daddy. It is so sweet. When I see him with our friends little girl.I know he is going to be a great Dad.

 Well I am off to read my non-baby related book. I am really enjoying it.

 Goodnight

Hello All,

Ok venting time!

 My BFF is pregnant ( I know I mentioned this before but hear me out!)

There has always been a silent competition she seems to think that is between us! I keep telling her that a baby isn’t a race but a living human and she seems to understand so that aside here is my rant.

Start of Rant:

When I found out my best friend was pregnant I was devastated. I couldn’t believe that this girl was going to be a mother before me. Even more so I was upset that I have actually been trying and with no avail. She on the other hand isn’t trying and gets pregnant.

The other day I was talking to her on the phone and this is how the conversation went

” All the attention is great when you are preggies you are going to love it”

” I know I have mentioned this before ( friends name here) but this isn’t a race and a child isn’t a possesion they are a livivng human and you shouldn’t want a baby for the attention”

” Well see your are just upset bc for once you aren’t getting any attention”

” I really don’t care about the attention ( insert friends name here) I actually care about getting pregnant and raising a wonderful and healhty child”

” I just want a baby!” she said giggling. Need I say more the conversation continued until I said I have to go and make supper now.

So my question to myself is doesn’t she realize that this baby won’t be a baby forever, that babies grow into toddlers, who grow ino kids, you grow into pre-teens that grow into teens then adults. Doesn’t she realize that she isn’t thinking in the long term.

This is why I am so upset. Some of us are in the mother business to raise wonderful productive members of society who will hopefully make the bleak future of this suffering planet a little brighter. Then there are people who just want cute  babies and forget that babies grow.

End of Rant

Jeez I feel better now, I am so afraid for this baby ( who is the size of a pea) I hope my best friend will not ignore or push aside her child as they grow from infancy b/c that would be a shame.

 It’s painful for me to think about all this and still know that hopefully soon my day will come and I need to patient ( which is impossible believe me)

Yesterday I went and bought a book, I have been reading alot about being pregnant and I have realized that I am making myself crazy with it. My poor Hubby having to listen to my worries I feel bad for him. So listening to my cousin I decided to stop thinking about it ( after planning to write my vent tonight  of course) I went an bought a book that has nothing to do with babies at all and is a good old fashioned fiction and you know what it’s exactly what I need.

So a good rant ( on a blog where I am sure to get some loving and supportive advice) and a book ( that has nothing to do with babies) and I am good.

Also on a differnt note I got a new job which will no doubt help eliminate most of the stress I feel on a daily basis. Although it’s a little less money ( not enough to worry about ) it’s with a wonderful Not for profit organization. I feel that this months no baby came from the stress at work and I have been searching for a new job for a long time.

So the question is How long do I have to work somewhere to be eligible for EI and maternity leave I hear it’s only like 4 months and I have been working steady full time for the past 52+ weeks.

Well talk to you soon I guess and take care and good night ( off to read my book!)

Hi All

Thanks to everyone who commented on the last blog, I will for sure give it a try ! I have started thinking about my future a little bit today. I was off to a job interview this morning and I am hopeful to get it but what will it mean for the baby train I hope to soon hop on! The job I am at now isn’t exactly family friendly and where I am hoping to go is. But it is ok to start something new and get pregnant.

I really think that this new job will help me in the long run be a happier healthier me! My current job is very high stress where I get up super early and drive an hour to get there and then spend 9 hours dealing with stressful problems then driving an hour home.

So I feel torn between a rock and a hard place but still more than anything I want to be a mom. My daer Hubby doesn’t seem to think it’s a provblem. As long as Ihave the 600 hours you need then he said it won’t matter plus they can’t let you go for being pregnant anyways. I wish I shared his carefree attitude but by nature I am a worrier.

Oh well on a brighter note this is cycle day 1 for me so my new month has started with a clean slate and I am looking forward to trying again this month. Also all my FIL can talk about is how excited he is that we are trying for a baby and that makes me feel so great!

My marriage started off rocky with my in-laws but I feel now my FIL has embarced me as a daughter and I can’t wait to see what he will be like with my children.

Well hello!

I guess this is my first Blog entry.

I am 24 years old and have been married for one year! I love my Hisband very much and he is a very huge part of my life. I work as an admin assistant in a health care firm ( benefits) I like it it’s ok.

 I decided to start blogging my quest to be a mother to help me. I am so confused about the whole thing that I think writting it down will help me reach my ultimate goal which is to have a beautiful little boy or girl.

My Husband and I started trying this past month and I thought for sure everything would be so easy. How hard could it be right? I am young and healthy and there should be no reason why it won’t happen on the first try.

Well it didn’t and to top it all off my best friend found out she is pregnant ( which was not planned) I am so devastated.

Hopefull next month I will be more lucky!