On my way to Mother Hood

I have never regretted my choice to use a midwife to birth our baby. I believe they are the most wonderful people in the world and I always leave the office feeling really great  even if  something was off.

This past week we went to see our back up midwife. In Ontario Midwives practice in two’s one for you and one for your baby. I much prefer our Primary caregiver to our back up midwife as she has a more medical view than our primary but I have learned that they are different and accepted it. Well at this visit I was surprised to find out that our back up midwife has a student. A first 1year student.

I was happy to see a new face and smiled and then our midwife asked if she could sit in. I said sure knowing that we have all been students at one time or another in a placement and we all need to learn. I must have mis-interpreted what ” Sit In” meant because before I knew it I went from feeling really comfortale to extremly uncomfortable in a matter of minutes. The midwifery student took my blood pressure which was fine, I think it’s rather difficult to mess that up, then she went to find the baby in my belly. I am a bigger girl and I don’t think she has had any exeperience with bigger girls because she was pressing really hard on my belly and as unable to figure out where Ila’s bum was and where her head was. The midwife then took over and showed her how to tell. She then tried to measure my belly pushing really hard to find the top of the fundus. Again the Midwife took over and found it and then our midwife measured my belly saying it’s 36 cm which is great because I am 35 weeks pregnant. The last thing she did was listen to the baby’s heartbeat. She was able to find it no problem and listened. It bothered me though that the midwife didn’t check after to ensure that the student had done it correctly and just wrote down what the student had said.

I cried all the way home feeling as if I didn’t get the level or care I am used to. Also after looking at the copies of the paper work that I had filled out upon joining the midwife I had asked that students NOT be involved in my care. I am really dreading calling my primary midwife this week and requesting that the stuent only be allowed to sit in and WACTCH anf NOT TOUCH during my appointments. I know if will just feel more comfortable if someone qualified cares for me with this being my first baby and all and maybe my second time around it won’t be a problem for a student to be involved.

Augh, I am a little frustrated and it seems silly. It’s my baby shower tomorrow and yes its no surprise! but, I have a few gripes, I have been monitoring my registry online to prepare myself for the things that people arent going to buy so I will know what I still need to get. It turns out all the really important things didn’t get bought for the shower including the bath tub, tummy time mat and baby monitor and instead lots of things I have tons of got bought instead ie… blankets. I am so frustrated!!!

Another thing that bothers me is this was suppose to be a no children baby shower as a few of the elderly guests are impatient with children so it was thought it would be best of they ( meaning children) didn’t come. Now there are 5 children coming, one baby boy 6 months old, two 3 year olds and one 4 year old and a 12 year old boy who is my cousin and is VERY immature for his age ( he still cries if he doesn’t get hsi way, well I guess he will be crying tomorrow!). I am worried about the kids tomorrow messing with the decorations,presents etc….. the 12 years old boy already told his mom that he is going to help me open gifts, I am so worried for tomorrow that I will have to tell him NO because if I let him do it and then I have to let the other 3 do it. I just wanted to enjoy it for myself as all my christmas gifts this year and birthday gifts have all been for the baby! Plus I am fully capable of opening my own gifts despite my torn ligament in my rib area.

I was really looking forward to my baby shower as this is a special one, my great grandma is still alive and in my family you only get one baby shower. I know is sounds selfish and silly but I just wanted to enjoy myself and now I have to think about 5 kids, 1 who is to old to be helping open gifts and is a boy at an all girl event.

Has anyone else been disappointed that their baby shower wasn’t what they thought it would be???