We’re never happy, are we? No matter what happens we can always find something to gripe about.
First of all, in my case, I became pregnant (not that I wasn’t happy about this, I was just stunned beyond words), then I wanted to be “12 weeks” pregnant, then I wanted to be “20 weeks pregnant” and past the point where we lost Emily, and then I wanted to be 38 weeks 1 day pregnant, past the point where I had Matthew and then I wanted Marcus to be here and now that I am at my due date I want Marcus to be here more.
Why am I not satisfied to just let time go by as it sees fit and enjoy things as they come? I know I’m tired, I know I’m sore, I know I’m cranky, I know I’m anxious, but I also know I’m thankful. Out of 4 pregnancies I have had the best, most wonderful 40 weeks that I have ever had in my life, even with all the tiredness, soreness, crankiness and anxiety. This has pretty much been a perfect pregnancy for me. No complications, no scares, no surprises. I’m so blessed and fortunate.
So why do I keep wishing time away?
I think it’s human nature. We (at least I) are always in such a hurry to get on with things that I very rarely stop to enjoy the moment and appreciate life as it’s happening. I wish my life away. Before I know it, Matthew will be grown, Marcus will be grown and then what? What happens then?
I need to slow down and not be in such a hurry to have the next event in my life happen. I really need to stop and smell the roses. Everything happens for a reason, in it’s own time, for it’s own reason. (Although the reason for me being awake at 4:45 AM totally baffles me at the moment…lol)
I am going to try to work on that. Relaxing, chillin’ out, just “being”. Wonder if I can do it?
Let’s start with enjoying April 26, 2008. We’ll see what he day brings, and if it doesn’t bring Marcus into this world, well hey, there’s always tomorrow, right??
Until next time….
