Wow wee! Welcome to a brand new world. (Now that my blog is up and running again!! Thanks, Helen!!!)

Diapers, bottles, 2am feedings (which Dad has so graciously “volunteered” to handle), crying, sleeping, pooping. What an experience this is turning into! There is a brand new person living in our hose now that we are responsible for. Our days of being able to just “up and go” have changed. Once we got home from the hospital I was faced with the realization that I didn’t have a clue how to go about caring for a newborn child. I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t want to be alone with Matthew. I didn’t want Mike to leave us. I didn’t know how to make him stop crying, I didn’t know if I could bath him the right way (thank God Mom was right upstairs), I didn’t know if I was feeding him too much or not enough, I didn’t know if I was going to get through it. I was tired, I was overwhelmed, I was cranky, I was irritable. This was absolutely nothing like what I thought it was going to be like. Why was I feeling so sad? This was supposed to be the happiest time of our lives. We had a child.

Thinking back now on all these distant memories, I put in a few really hard months after Matthew came into our lives. Thinking back now I wonder if I experienced postpartum depression. I’ll never know the answer to that, as I never really showed how I was feeling, but I suspect I may have. I do know it was a horrible feeling and I am very fortunate that in time it passed. I believe my anxieties and fears passed only because of the support of my husband. He had (has) more patience than anyone I know. I can be moody at the best of times, never mind after just giving birth. My hormones were all over the place. It certainly wasn’t easy, but over time we developed a schedule and I got to know my son. I realized that he could sense my moods and emotions. In time, my insecurities went away and I was finally able to “enjoy” being a Mom.

Matthew really started to become a little person with lots of cute traits. We’d spend hours lying on the living room floor or on our bed watching him learn all about his surrounding. We have hours and hours of video of him swinging in his swing, lying on the floor “playing” with his toys, and learning how to roll over. He loved music right from day one. He would turn his head towards the sound of the music and we could tell already that there were certain types of music he liked.

As I mentioned in a previous entry, we were renting the basement apartment from Mom and Dad at this time. This proved to be very beneficial at times, and rather annoying at other times. It was great to know there was always someone around if we needed anything, but at times it would have been nice to have our own place, too. Mom and Dad and my sister were wonderful, don’t get me wrong, and it was great for them, too. Matthew was the first grandchild for both sets of grandparents, so it was special for my Mom and Dad being able to have Matthew there all the time. However, once a Mom is a Mom she always feels she knows what’s best, especially when it comes to her “grandchild”. Mom often interjected with her opinions and this sometimes caused me a bit of grief. I knew her heart was in the right place and it didn’t really cause any issues greater than we could handle. (Ten years later Mom still likes to makes sure I know what I’m doing)…lol…sometimes I wonder how I didn’t lose him, let him freeze to death, manage not to get a zillion colds, and in most ways just plain survive because Mom wasn’t right there beside me all the time! (Did that appear to be as sarcastic as I think it did?)

All in all, our first year was a real learning experience for everyone. I couldn’t believe how quickly his first birthday rolled around. He was a happy baby who was learning and growing every minute of every day.

When Matthew was a year and a half old, we decided it was time to start looking for a place we could call our own. We jumped (perhaps too quickly) at the first home we looked at. Although it may not have been the best decision we ever made, it would be home for the next four years. Finally, after being married for 6 years, we had a home of our own. It was like starting all over again. We had some great times there. Young Sir was a busy toddler who loved being outside and was happiest when he was playing in the water. He was a smart boy. When he started talking it was like he went from one word to a full vocabulary almost overnight. He loved to ask questions and wouldn’t be satisfied with just any old answer. He wanted things explained in great detail and could easily recite everything back to you days later.

He made up stories so believable that one day when he was maybe 3 years old he scared my sister so badly, I thought she was going to have a heart attack. It was the wintertime, Mike was working this particular day and I was out shovelling the driveway. I would stick my head in the door every two minutes to make sure he was ok. This one time when I checked on him he was on the phone and he handed it to me saying that Auntie wanted me. I said hello to hear her start tearing a strip off me for leaving him alone while I went to the store. Pardon me?? He told her that I had left 2 HOURS ago in the car to go to the store and I didn’t come back yet and he was starting to get “concerned” (remember, he’s 3!) She was having a fit not knowing whether she should hang up and get in her car and come to the house or stay on the phone with him. This all happened in the space of about a minute and a half. After she calmed down she couldn’t imagine that I actually did this, but she said he sounded so sincere and worried that she had no reason not to believe him. I told her to come down and see that the driveway was only half shovelled if she didn’t believe me. Good grief. This was the first of many “tales” Sir Matthew came up with over the years. We laughed over that!

Time started going very quickly once he started preschool at the age of 4. He went 2 days a week and really enjoyed the time he spent playing. It was hard to get him to focus learning his alphabet and he never wanted to sit still during story time. He was a busy boy with too much to do. More on this later. Socially he liked to play with one little boy in particular and would get easily frustrated during group activities. This is happening because there are no kids for him to play with around where we lived, we thought. Again, more on this later.

Before we knew it 2 years had gone by and it was the summer of 2002. Matthew was starting “big school” in September. That was a summer of up’s and down’s. One none of us will ever forget.

Until next time….

June 27

So I have been trying to think about how I want to do this whole blog thing. Do I go back to day one? Do I do it a person at a time? Do I jump all over the place? Well, the last one isn’t really an option because that would drive me up the wall. I’m too organized for that..lol.

Why don’t we start with Matthew? (I think I should get a cup of tea for this one…)

MMmmm I have my tea. Now, where do I start?

Matthew was born on October 7, 1996 (13 days early). He was our second pregnancy with the first ending in miscarriage at 9.5 weeks almost one year earlier to the day. The first three months of this pregnancy were spent on the flat of my back. I had some beelding which was a result of a amnio-chorion separation (two layers of the sack were not fusing together properly). I was assured that as the baby and my uterus grew this would correct itself, which at about 16 weeks, did. The remainded of the pregnancy was great! I felt wonderful and enjoyed every minute of it.

During an ultrasound at 35 weeks an issue with Matthew’s kidney was revealed. It seemed that there was just a mass of tissue where his kidney should be (hydronephrosis). There didn’t appear to be any kidney function there at all, but further testing once he was born would tell us what we needed to know. My Dad only has one kidney so I didn’t worry too much about it, as he has lived a very healthy life with no major complications.

It was a Sunday evening when I thought this could be it. Mike was at work but we were living in the basement apartment at my parent’s home so I knew if I couldn’t wait until 6:30AM when Mike got off work, everything would be ok. I spent most of the night pacing back and forth in our living room. I’d try to lie down, I’d try to sit down, nothing worked. I felt most comfortable sitting (of all places) on the toilet ! LOL Around 4:30 AM I decided to get our bags together and get dressed - just in case. By 5:30 I had enough. I couldn’t walk up the stairs to wake Mom and Dad up, so I called them! Mom answered the phone and I said I think we better go to the hospital It sounded like a herd of elephants upstairs…lol. They were up and dressed and running down the stairs in about 30 seconds. I was calmly standing at the bottom with my bags ready, jacket on, all set to go. Of course, I had been talking to Mike on and off throughout the night and he was not amused that he couldn’t leave work. He was working as a 911 dispatcher at this time and couldn’t very well just leave! I knew he would be off at 6:30 so I figured we’d get all the paper work done before he arrived. Off we went. Mom, Dad and I. I can remeber laughing because Mom let me sit in the front seat of the car while she climbed in back! I think Dad was a little bit nervous.

When we arrived at the hospital I was 6 cms and fully effaced. Yikes, this may not take too long at all. Dad left to go get my sister, who was in university 2.5 hours away, as soon as Mike arrived. My cousin went and picked up Mike’s Mom, so all we had to do was wait. Mom and Mike’s Mom sat quietly over in the corner of the room while the Dr.’s and nurses buzzed in and out. At 8:30 the pains were really bad in my back so they gave me a shot of morphine. Mike was tired after working backshift and started dozing off after each contraction. When 9:00 came they told me I could start pushing. The morphine had kicked in and all I wanted to do was snooze. Not an option. Pushing is a lot harder than it sounds for someone who didn’t take any Lamaze classes or anything like that. I was getting frustrated quickly. It didn’t seem to me like anything was happening, but I was told I was doing great and it wouldn’t be long now. At 10:42AM Matthew was born weighing in at 6 lbs 13 ounces and 21 inches long. We had a boy !! The 2 grandmothers were just about jumping over the moon! Mike was down at the foot of the bed with the Doctor (never mind his wife..lol) and was there to catch Matthew upon arrival! That was special. I can remember the Doctor asking me if I wanted to touch his head as he crowned. What I told him wasn’t very nice!!

After a couple of stitches, that was it. We had our boy. My sister and father arrived 20 minutes after he was born. My sister was supposed to be there with me during the labour and delivery but I neglected to call her earlier (my brain just wasn’t working right).

She was able to help out with the Apgar Score, as she had just finished her labour and delivery pratical for university (she, of course, was studying nursing). The nurses were great to let her give them a hand.

Once he was all cleaned up and deemed healthy, he was wisked away for an ultrasound on his kidney. We would be seeing a Urologist within a couple of weeks. All went well and about an hour later we were settled into our room. I was in for two days and was released just before the Thanksgiving weekend. Wow, did we ever have a lot to be thankful for this year.

So, there you have the very beginning of Sir Matthew’s journey. C’mon back next time to see how things went once we got him home!

Hi everyone! Welcome to An Angel’s Island. For those of you who don’t know me - a brief introduction.

My name is Tracey and I am 36 years old (37 in September). I have been married to my best friend, Michael, for almost 16 years. We have a 10 year son, Matthew who is the light of our lives. He will be entering 4th grade in September and is very excited to be going to a new school.

I work outside the home, full time which can make family life somewhat hectic at times, but I’m always up for a challenge! We have a great schedule and we can normally get all the little kinks worked out that fall into our lap.

As far as hobbies and interests I love to write. It has been very therapuedic for me for many years now. I started writing in junior high school and have since wrote a one-act play and many MANY poems and a couple of songs which were put to music and recorded by a local artist. Radio air-play is my goal. I know it will happen one day.

I love music of any kind. There is very rarely a TV on in our house, but try to walk into a room and not hear a radio or CD playing! It won’t happen!

I am very excited to be Blogging with CPO. This is the first time I have tried my hand at blogging, so please,
be patient with me! If there is anything you want to know - ask away. I am pretty much an open book. This is going to be a great opportunity for me to do what I love to do most - TALK! I could talk about my family all day, so I thought this would be right up my alley!

I became a member of the CPO community a short 6 months ago. I can’t explain the realtionships that I have formed over 6 short months. We have a group of people who are so diverse, yet so close it’s amazing. I have never experienced anything like this online community before.

OK, I don’t want to get into too much with my first post. There’s so much I could start off with but perhaps I’ll leave you with the suspense..lol. The general focus of my blog is going to be my family. Hubby is a firefighter and my son has special needs in a few areas so there will always be lots to talk about.

Until next time, farewell from An Angel’s Island…