It’s now nearly 2 weeks since we returned home from California. I’m still looking for a groove, a structured niche of time that I can use to write/blog and explore some social media platforms and interactions. The daytime is not really an option, nor should it be. This is kid family time for the most part with the exception of small lulls.

Over the last couple of days I’ve found some time to play around with iWeb, the Mac web application. The results can be viewed at 180 Days of Magic. It will be a mixture of the personal supplemented with information from other sources on parental leave with an emphasis, if possible on fathers’ perspectives.

We briefly resuscitated our house hunting this week. Noah-David is always on the look out for toys when we go for viewings. He’s really good at understanding that they don’t belong to him and is generally pretty easy to contain.

We saw 4 houses in a couple of days. Three of them had distinct defining characteristics. One is rustic pastoral with over an acre of land, multiple buildings and a llama (not for sale). Another is a disaster area with garbage on the floor, standing pools of water in the basement being used as a play area and just a general aura of neglect (can’t judge a book by its cover – this cover was in good shape).The third is a spacious home with lots of natural light, a view of rolling hills and cathedral ceilings (turns out we came on the scene too late).

The viewings at our house continue though at a greatly reduced frequency. Our realtor tells us that she had only one viewing up to Wednesday of this week for all of her listings. We had one yesterday, a return visit by a couple of brothers who are ‘flippers’. The weekend is coming up and viewing activity should pick up. There is of course the associated inconvenience of getting the kids ready for a quickly field trip and tidying up the house on short notice.

The groove is going great with the kids. This is sustained time that I’ve never had with these little sproglets before. It’s not all family values and disneyesque perfection. In addition to the laughter, the playing and the wonder, there are the shitty diapers, mini-tantrums and whining. On balance, it’s an incredible time that we’re spending together. It’s priceless, invaluable. We are fortunate that we’re in a financial situation that we are able do this. As for professional challenges and opportunities – they can wait.

Mélanie has found time to read a couple of books within the last 2 to 3 weeks. She’s literally ecstatic. I’m hoping that she’ll continue to rediscover old pleasures that she had to set aside temporarily to care for the babies full time.

It’s wonderful weather today – great for blowing bubbles, getting the deck furniture out and general lollygagging.

It’s been quite an eventful week since we checked back into the Halifax digs. We had a quiet family celebration for Mélanie’s birthday. Carla is coming in tonight to baby sit so we can get out for a meal and create a little oasis of time to enjoy each other’s company and indulge ourselves. We should be getting away on our own more frequently.

Noah-David was brimming over with the excitement of maman’s bonne fête. He proudly presented her with a caramel apple for a present. Later in the day Noah participated as only he can in the pièce de résistance, the making of the cupcakes. For our lad, this means diving elbow deep in the cupcake mix to divert significant quantities from bowl to belly.

The birthday glow is still in the air and balloons seem to be bouncing effortlessly from room to room and populating the entire house. This may be a cornerstone of Noah’s new manifesto of fun, “a balloon for every room”.

Our house went on the market just as we went on holidays. This first week back we had 6 showings in 3 days. Realtors advise that everything has to be just so when you’re having strangers in for a peek and poke around. Mélanie invested a huge effort prior to the San Diego trip to bring everything up to the fabled just so level. It’s hard work to maintain that sheen and there’s sprucing up on short notice that has to be done in advance of every viewing. The house hunting and selling saga continues.

We were the sorry looking pink eye gang this week. Each of us had the nasty, gooey conjunctivitis blues. It seems to be pretty well on its way to being cleared up after a prescription treatment. It’s hard with little ones though with the constant hands to eyes, hands to eyes movement. Here’s hoping it’s on the mend.

A couple of firsts for Noah-David this week – one random and one planned. He got his first sting. The wasp got him on his little foot as he was out by the back door playing. I ran out to see what the crying commotion was about and it took me a little while to piece it together. I asked what happened, was it this, was it that? He responded “no” each time while pointing and saying. “there”. I finally saw the wasp gaggling about in its death dance. I’m not proud to say it but I helped dispatch it. After the initial crying jag and some cuddles, Noah calmed down. He was a pretty brave little fellow in my eyes.

We checked in with a speech language pathologist this week too. We’ve been a little concerned about a lack of clearness in Noah’s pronunciation. Noah just loved to demonstrate what he knew to the woman who gave him the screening tests. He was fully engaged in the exercises and was eager to move through the questions. It was all of a very playful nature – “look, I don’t think you’re going to be able to find anything to stump me, you can try of course but…”

English resource material was used at this appointment. We’ve got a follow up that will focus on French language skills which is Noah’s primary language. His comprehension and vocabulary are functioning at high levels in both languages.

Back to normal routines – visits to the Natural History Museum and Public Gardens, swinging away life’s worries on the Ardmore Park swings and the Mom and kids visits. There’s a lot to do and be responsible for being at home with the children and I’m starting to get a better appreciation of what it all entails.

Hoildays are great for so many reasons – the discovery of unfamiliar places and meeting new people, the break from normal routines, the chance to spend more time with family and acquaintances we meet along the way. All of these help us to recharge, renew, relax.

Then there’s the snap back to pre-holiday reality. If we’re fortunate there’s a buffer zone before we have to return work. My zone is looking extremely good from where I sit, 5 ½ months before I need to ride in the 9 to 5 work saddle again.  This is thanks to the birth of our wonderful, wee Nellie-Rose, federal legislation, my employer’s support for parental leave and my wife’s agreement to have me in the house for such an extended period of time.

There are some adjustments to this parental leave experience that are still underway. Financially it will be a bit of a pinch and a squeeze, just not the same amount of dollars coming in and not a significant variation in the dollars going out.

In the areas of childcare and housework there is a real need for us both to explore new roles and responsibilities – the only one I can’t really put myself forward for is breastfeeding. Then there is fitting in the all important recharge time. This should be a bit easier now but I’m very conscious that it needs to be fair and equitable and provide us both with some personal breathing space.

Mélanie and I are feeling our way slowly through these changes. It’s still early days and I think we’ll see more progress as we get a better handle on what each of our expectations are for this gift of time that’s being provided to our little family.

We had great times in San Diego. There was time to make acquaintances at the hostel and in passing during our daily adventures. Time too to see that biases about American self-centredness were generally unfounded. There was time for Noah-David to discover new worlds. For Mélanie and I there was time to hold hands, slow down and to have more fun with our two babies. There was time to get lost, to hear the planes and the parrots, to ride the buses and walk the beaches, to drink coffee and eat mangoes. There was time………….

 We took the Surfliner north to LA early Saturday afternoon - tired babies and fatigued parents starting out on the reverse trek, SanD to Halifax. In those moments when we were stretched we often ran across people who had great things to say about the kids, who remarked on how special they were and engaged with them in any play they could. We got a blast of this at the LA train station from the baggage attendee and the airport bus driver. Their words juiced us up until we got to the LAX Radisson.

  It was a good night at LAX. Noah-David and I swam in the heated outdoor pool for 30 to 45 minutes. He was all smiles and laughter enjoying being out in the almost dark. The 3h45 wake-up was a little rude but we managed to snap out of our sleep and keep the babes slumbering as long as possible. The airport itself was line after line after line. It took over an hour to actually check in and go through security.

 The skies were clear blue for much of the first leg of the journey and we flew over a stunning variety of topography - ocean beaches, deserts, salt flats, mesas, table lands, snow capped mountains, farm lands. I couldn’t keep my eyes away from the window or my fingers from clicking image after image.

 4 1/2 hours after take-off we taxied in to Toronto’s Pearson. Little Nellie-Rose had been fussing for about the last hour of the flight and Noah-David was making more frequent forays into the tear zone. We really couldn’t get ourselves home quick enough at this point. A check through customs and a jiggity-jig to the next departure lounge and we were just 2 1/2 hours or so - air and ground travel time - from our own beds.

 My folks picked us up at the airport as we didn’t have sufficient space to pack everything in our car. Helen, my mom, had home baked muffins and a special cookie treat for Noah. The kids got lots of pinches, smiles and squeezes and took it all in their stride. My dad Bob got in some fine Nellie nestling moments when we went for our bags. Truth be told I think the kids were very happy to see familiar faces, family faces.

 It wasn’t too long before we dropped to bed, dropped to our Halifax earth, dropped to our zone.

Friday morning we flipped down to the borderlands in the rental car. The I-5 South gets you there in about 35 minutes. It’s pretty much urbanized all the way down the coast. The signage approaching Mexico is very clear, “this is your last chance to get off the highway and remain in the US” type of messaging. There were no compelling reasons for us to go to Tijuana so we stuck to the US side of the border and looked for bargains in the outlet stores.

There are over 100 outlet stores – Levi’s, Nike, The Gap, Adidas, Old Navy, Banana Republic, Nautica – in viewing distance of the border. The corrugated iron fencing, barbed wire, high wattage lighting and border patrol vehicles abutt the back parking lot of the Las Americas shopping experience. This is fortress and free-spending America all rolled into one. Bargains in the consumer compound and aerial surveillance just outside making sure no illegals get a chance to come and taste the land of milk and honey.

One of the sales associates at Levi’s said that most of the shoppers came from Mexico, Canada and Europe. Very few Americans shop at the outlet locations. The morning headlines on the day we visited reported on the US consumer mood being at a 28-year low. Certainly nothing to jump up and shout about unless the shouting might help turn things around.

Our loot bag from Las Americas included jeans, bathing suits, running shoes and baby clothes we purchased as gifts. The prices were in the bargain zone in keeping with our entire 2-week holiday in SanD.

We booted back up the I-5 for our last full day in the city. With temperatures hitting 30 C we decided on OB before and Mission Beach after supper.

Noah-David got in some quality sand castle building at OB and some toe, ankle, knee, hip wetting wave action where sea meets shore. Lots of giggles, smiles and wide-eyed wonder at the cresting, curling water works, the surfers, the pelicans and planes overhead and the beach with lots of merry, sun worshippers.

We scooted down Sunset Cliffs Boulevard after a quick bite and headed for the Mission Beach boardwalk. It was a 10 minute hop by car. Prior to hitting the seaside promenade, Noah rode another carousel stallion at Belmont Park two hands firmly planted on the pole for his rising and falling equine adventure.

According to the store owners around the Park, things don’t really get humming until after the Memorial Day weekend. Prior to that it’s pretty hit and miss just like the weather before the end of May. Once the sun heats up and is out consistently, the beach becomes a magnet pulling in the local and foreign exotica alike.

The boardwalk was busy with people out getting the last few rays of the day all ages, sizes, shapes and colours a real ratatouille bunch. There was still some wave riders catching a curl and the pelicans were diving for fish to fuel their regal flight.

The beach wasn’t as crowded as OB earlier in the day but there was a little burst of action that coincided with the setting sun, people going to water’s edge to click sunset photos as the red ball lost its bounce and slipped into the Pacific depths. Mélanie and Noah-David tickled their toes in the darking shallows leaving breath long footprints in the packed hard sand. Moments like these are the indelible image track of simple pleasures playing on memory’s reel, looping with no fixed time interval, surfacing as a pleasant surprise, a welcome friend, a warm smile.

As the car was turning into a pumpkin on Saturday morning we squeezed in one more little trip. We just had time for a quick flip to Coronado Island. This meant nighttime driving on the I-5. Cars move quite fast on the SanD freeways and I didn’t know my way around. Mélanie played co-pilot and I sure needed one as I managed to get lost almost immediately on leaving the Mission Beach area. We got back on track and with my trusty co-pilot’s cajoling we made it across the skyhigh Coronado Bridge and back. The passenger ferry landing provided a great vantage point to see downtown SanD. The area looked nice. If we return, we’ll be sure to explore it.

3h45 and baby Nellie-Rose has a fever as we head into our last full CA day. She was sniffling throughout the morning and afternoon and was congested since going to bed. Noah-David is up in the middle of the night, restless, fidgety, unable or unwilling to roll over and do the sleep thing. He hears the 3h57 after getting his drink of water and vaults – if that can be said of moving quickly on your knees in a cramped space – over to the window to peer out into the dark night sky. No words – perhaps he missed the lights and his opportunity to exclaim, as only he can, “boooteeful”. After much tossing, turning, back rubbing and cuddles he succumbs again to nodville at 4h55.

I pull the clothes out of the washer and get them drying, cook up 6 eggs for sandwiches, boil 6 more and get my morning coffee cranked. We’re on the road back east today – tiny steps just SanD to LA. The anticipation of the unknown won’t be present with us in the same way. The only real new in the next couple of days will be departing from LAX.

Colleen is here with her welcome early morning cheer. Great personality to get things rocking at the start of the day. She’s friendly but also no nonsense – you wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. Her swipe card wouldn’t work this morning so she had to give Dave on his day off a ring to get into the office. These were the 2 staffers I connected most with – both down to earth and relatively outgoing without being overwhelming.

Need to jump into a shower before the hot water is all sucked dry in the morning dash to cleanliness. Get back to this on the northbound Surfliner if the Noah lad does any sleeping.

 <pToday is our last full day in San Diego. Just as we ready to pack our bags, the sun has arrived cracking hot. The standard weather forecast from locals has been, “May, gray – June, gloom”. Our days were a fairly consistent mix of gray gloom but very enjoyable nonetheless. Throwing the sun into the mix has been letting the party out of the box. It’s made possible a whole new appreciation and understanding of Ca-li-for-nia…………. I’m now in the sway of those easy listeningAmerica tunes which I’ve been hearing on an internal loop track for the past couple of days.

We got personally mobile yesterday with our very own compact rental automobile. We headed straight for Mission Beach, a trip of maybe 5 kilometres from Point Loma HI but oh so much easier and quicker by car than by transit. We did the boardwalk - one side abuts the beach and the other a series of vacation rentals/condos overlooking the Pacific.

We could almost feel the sun crackling our pale, winterized skin as we walked to the sound of the surf pushing our Noah-David and snugglying our Nellie-Rose. The boardwalk was crowded with strollers, bikers, bladers, joggers – a great place to celebrate the outdoors. About 25 metres offshore were pods of 3 and 4 dolphins diving and surfacing, seemingly watching our more gravity bound progress. Above us small groups of pelicans were either coming back to shore, or heading out to fish with their strong measured wing beats and formation flying. Sea and sky came together in a soft heat shimmering pastel focus.

The kids eventually woke up after the long walk and we took a quick stroll over to the mini-amusementground – a roller coaster, a carousel, a submarine ride and a few other old-time type rides. Maman and Noah-David tamed the bucking broncos on the merry-go-round and we all had some cotton candy –barbe à papa – to share. An added bonus on this excursion was big brother Bob Marley shirts for the 4 of us.

More sand, sea and surf after supper as Noah and I headed down for a guys night out at Ocean Beach. We got a rockin’ parking space immediately opposite the beach just off of Newport Avenue. Noah was wearing his sporty new one-piece swimsuit, all pistachio green and summer sky blue. He looks fantastic - as one woman on the pier said, “he should be on a postcard”.

Before hitting the beach we grabbed a quick ice cream cone – strawberry for Noah and chocolate for me. Fortified with dairy and sugars we made our way down to the high tide surf. The waves were pretty big and after the second, or third washed up around Noah’s waist with some considerable force and his face was liberally doused with salt spray, he opted to nestle in papa’s arms. We swayed together like that, hugging and holding, watching the surging surf wash around my legs, tracking the skybound planes jetting across the Pacific just quietly being and loving each other.

We left beachside with Noah on my shoulders and climbed the stairs to the longest pier on the west coast. We sauntered along and saw people reeling in sea bass pulled out of the water 20 metres below. The sunwas sinking rapidly and the lad was developing a chill though he wouldn’t fess up even when asked. When we reached the end of the line the sun was just slipping below the horizon and there was a tearful admission of being cold. A quick hug and toweling and a change of clothes washed away the tears and we walked a smiley, happy boy riding high on shoulders back to land.

The sky was dark when we pulled into Udall St. It was time to run in and see the girls and have a bowl of cereal before a camp down for the night.

Today’s adventures are just about to begin under blue San Diego skies.

We wound our way to fun up Park Boulevard’s hill yesterday morning riding the number 7. It’s a good run from the hostel, right up Noah-David’s alley as it’s a 2-bus excursion. Public transit has been a constant blast for him throughout the trip and it’s worked well for us though the waits for connections can be long.

There’s a miniature train just outside the zoo that we thought Noah would enjoy. We looked quickly at the sign on arrival and saw an 11h00 opening – just 30 minutes later. We decided to get in a little kicky ball on the green, green grass of Balboa Park and ride the rails when the train pulled in. The soccer play was brilliant pitting as it usually does Noah’s Barcelona against my Manchester United. The results of these games are never in doubt – Barcelona is perennially victorious.

Following another international football drubbing, I sheepishly left the field to check on the progress of the great train ride. Well, we hadn’t read carefully enough. 11h00 was the opening time but only on weekends –beware the fine print. Until summer rolls around, it’s similar hours for the marvelous carousel they have in the same area.

Rebuffed by the train’s weekend only schedule, we sauntered northish to discover what the museums had to offer. There was a lot to choose from but with two babes kind of running the attractions component of the show we opted for the science centre as the most likely to engage the toddler psyche. Turned out to be a good choice with the exhibits and play area fully engaging for upwards of an hour. If you have a science centre in your own town you may be prone to making comparisons. You can always explore the Reuben H Fleet Science Center before you go.

Our last stop on this excursion was the World Beat Center, a meeting place for the African diaspora. There were parrots in cages at the entrance – one who whistled and jabbered away though I can’t recall any of hisinsights. The center is housed in a former municipal water storage tank a low rise cylinder now filled with another life-giving gift – the one love, one heart, one humanity rhythm, the universal mystic flowing through the air.

We were able to take in a percussion session for toddlers led by Ghanaian drummer and storyteller, Nana. The kids danced, beat their drums, rattled their shakers and participated in a call and answer story. The parents got the chance to play along too. Despite the excellent caliber of the session, there was only a handful of toddlers present. There is a lot of interesting cultural programming being organized out of the center including reggae concerts in Tijuana.

Woke up a couple of mornings ago to find a rastaman sitting in the kitchen. He had checked in the previous evening after performing at a reggae show at one of the local American Indian casinos. Suba is based in Claremont and plays with One Drop Redemption who jam out Big Bob tunes for audiences large and small. Suba knows a couple of guys I had run into in the early 80s – Clive, Bunny and Wally from the band Bloodfire. They are all alive and well and doing the session musician thing in CA. It’s a one beat, one drop world. It’s nice to know that theses rastadreaddies are doing well. They always treated us the best when we went to their shows neary 30 years ago. Too bad that we’re not able to do a little skanking to One Drop Redemption’s tunes this time out.

 Babes in arms and toddlers are such conversation starters. They pull on the universal heartstrings and show us, if only for that presto, magic moment, that bright eyes and a smile can light up the world.In the last couple of days traveling on public transit we’ve met a few people thanks to Noah and Nellie. For some the wide eyes of wonder and innocence brought them back to a time when they clasped little hands and danced tickling fingers across bellies.I’m sure the couple from Pennsylvania was cruising that memory terrain. Mister is in his 80s and recently confined to a wheelchair. In her 70s, Missus is proud of the risk her husband took 10 years earlier when they experienced one winter too many and hopped in the car for the long drive to the west coast. Even though their children and grandchildren are back east, they’re happy with the move.Much the same story with a native New Yorker we met a few days later. A retired merchant mariner, he too was looking to escape the literal and sometimes figurative cold of the northeast. He was certainly warming up to Nellie and Noah’s smiles as we bused our way to our last zoo adventure.Then there was the Italian grandma who was watching and protective of Noah as we waited for the bus to take us to Seaworld. She said repeatedly that he was beautiful and so intelligent for his age. Whenever she got a chance, she would reach out and lightly touch him. It was great to see the happiness our little lad was able to bring to complete strangers.The children frequently inspire this kind of reaction but it’s not like that all the time. When there is something of a spectacular nature underway like drumming, singing and native dancing eyes are focused elsewhere. That’s just what happened at American Indian Days at Balbao Park. It was wonderful to see the fancy dancing and hear the pulsating drum. Nellie took it all in while big brother snoozed away in the Phil and Ted’s stroller. Maman cruised the crafts and picked up a lovely sweater from Paddington’s deepest, darkest Peru. Papa just enjoyed the beat, the colour and the one world feel.The SanD time is slipping away. Only a few days left in our cramped but cozy room. We’ll continue to make our adventure memorable, to create moments of magic for ourselves and hopefully for others we meet along the way.

 Another great attraction at Point Loma HI are the specialty evenings organized by staff and volunteers for the hostellers. Within a one week period, we’ve participated in an open house – for community, board members and volunteers – a BBQ night and a spaghetti supper. We missed out on smores night because we were just too exhausted. These nights are good opportunities to get together with new people and hear about their adventures. The most original I heard so far, was from a guy who hitchhiked from LA to Philadelphia in his early 20s circa 1970 with a young lion cub. And we thought Noah and Nellie were conversation pieces.There was quite a spread laid on for the open house – cold meats, potato salad, cheeses, breads and buns, pies and more. At the end of the meal, we heard readings from local writers and poets. Art Seamans, his assistant, and I were at the same table. Turns out Art was a former professor of literature at Point Loma Nazarene University. He has a passion for questing and savouring the life and times of literary writers. He shared his love of questing with the audience and gave me a copy of his book that captures some of his off the beaten track moments including an account of EJ Pratt. The Dead One Touched Me – A Walk With Writers Through The Centuries, was published by a small Canadian press and received assistance from the Canada Council of the Arts, my old alma mater. I’ve promised to send Art a copy of Catherine Safer’s book when we get back home.For coffee lovers, there was a fun and fantastical poem that wove together the story of an alien invasion and one man’s love of real coffee, decaffeinated was not an acceptable substitute regardless of the consequences. Dave, one of the Point Loma staff, thinks this poet may have published a book and is going to try and find out for me this week.The staff are great. Most count their employment here in the years. They enjoy their work and are always ready to pass on tips to us itinerants. Colleen’s 16-year-old daughter was here last Wednesday helping to prepare for Thursday’s community open house. Another daughter works at the downtown hostel and her husband helps at Point Loma with repairs and maintenance. A sense of extended family permeates the place and its residential setting in Point Loma further adds a bit of community buzz.The residents are a diverse all ages and genders bunch from China, Thailand, Sweden, Germany, Mexico, Belgium, England, France, Canada and various points in the US. The cast changes daily. There’s always somebody coming and somebody going. A couple of mornings ago at 5h00, 50 something Ms. Wisconsin hopped a cab for the train station and a ride that will take her to Seattle to meet friends. Yesterday, the German massage therapist who loved our babies caught a flight back to Europe. Today, the young lad from Central Mexico heads back to his mom’s place in LA. And as Mr. Vonnegut would say, “and so it goes….”